School's reopening soon...it's scaring me...

现在的心情真的好差。害怕，担忧，怀疑。。。真糟糕。把自己弄得好累哦。该想的时候脑袋一片空白，不该想的时候，又一大堆想法。

Many friends tell me that I'm a weird person, doing weird things. I guess they're right. I'm so weird. Can't understand myself too. 


Feels like going away for a long long time. I want to go overseas!! Thinking of this always make me feel excited! Pleaseeeee, 4months, please pass fast fast! Pleaseeeeee. And not let it be as torturous as before. Pleaseeeeee.

Really miss knowing that there's someone out there who really cares. 

So frustrated with everything, including myself.

fighting spirit

Judo mates

Judo mates. They're a bunch of awesome people. Even though I didn't talk much, I think.

Joining judo is the best decision I've made so far.  Still can remember the first judo scene vividly.

13/12/2011.

Can't remember what happened, but I paid for the course before even getting to know about it first. Haha! I think that's the deciding factor. I walked into a room full of strangers and not forgetting a room of GUYS. They were throwing each other around. That's when I start to reconsider my decision.
But as you know, it's too late for any regrets. HAHA.
I got really nervous when I stepped into the room. It felt really foreign to me. And at that moment I was thinking to myself, "You must be mad, Yilian. You must be mad" But anyway, I'm glad SiokBin sensei was there. You can't believe how glad I was when I finally see a female. And she seems friendly and trustable to a frightened small me. So YEAH. I'm in.
From then on, step by step, I start to break new barriers. I became a different me.
From the martial art itself, to meeting new people.
So that's why people say we should always learn new things!
It's when learning new things, stepping out of our comfort zone and putting ourselves into a totally foreign place that we really grow as a human being.

I've been learning judo for 1 year and 6 months already.
Just like how I've been learning piano for 6 years, violin for 5 years. Time really flies!

So today, I had my grading for blue belt. It was totally a nerve-racking experience. I think I passed? Haha! YAY It's all thanks to all my judo mates. If not for them, I would have failed it! Just before grading, Kianyu was still teaching me the 6 escaping techniques. We reached only the 4th technique when SiokBin sensei called me. So yeah, have to start my grading. When sensei ask me to show her the 6technique, I stopped at the 4th one and was looking around desperately for help. Lucky for me, they helped me alittle...haha! Shiai part, one word from me, WOW.

Never so tired before as compared to previous trainings. Randori is always the scary part for me. Like fighting with people and applying what I learnt at the right time. So I'm always hesitant during randori. But during this grading, sensei Siokbin said two things in particular to me.
"If you continue to laugh, you will fail this grading immediately."
She said it so sternly that immediately I got serious.
"Continue to attack! Show more fighting spirit!"
Because of that, I stop hesitating and just fight.

SO YEAH. See the power of my sensei uh? Haha!

Judo, so far the best decision of my life.

Used to

Now you are just somebody I used to know.

back to books

Today woke up early, around 9plus sio~ (early for me!) Had a cup of milk, two cheese and did some stretching (to aid growth! hahahaha). Then, BACK TO BOOKS! Finally....like after many many days.
Camped in the library for hours and did electrochem and some maths. It's quite a torture for me, since I didn't touch books for so long. Got tired very easily and had to take numerous breaks.

What's worst? A crazy person was sitting in front of me in the library. Really unlucky day for me urgh.
At first this person seems normal to me, concentrating on his math assignment.
But slowly, he became weirder: Writing furiously. Flipping his papers urgently. Pressing his calculator fiercely. THINKING OBVIOUSLY(like everyone can tell he's thinking that kind). I'm fine with all these okay. Like just go ahead lah, it's good that he's so 'engrossed' in his work. But awhile later, he started giggling to himself. Like he'll look at his phone and start giggling. I'M FINE WITH THIS OKAY.
But the moment I took out my math book, he glanced at it for a moment, and started giggling nonstop.
He even tried to stop himself from giggling 'secretly'. Gosh. It's so obvious man. You know why he's like this? At first it didn't make sense to me. But slowly I kind of get it. He's acting like this, because my math's H1.

Like, he's doing H2 math.

He just stared at my math book and start giggling non-stop.
And all his actions became even more exaggerated. He'll press his calculator even more fiercely, acting like he's thinking even more deeply. That's it man. By now I'm already so affected by his actions and everything.
Awhile later, I just pack up and leave. Really my luck to bump into such person. He's just plain arrogant and rude.

OK, forget it. Let's move on to a happier note.
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TIO JIA XIN!!
Met her awhile later after the study session at her mum's salon. My heart goes out to jiaxin and her mum, really. They're so exhausted these few days in the salon. Especially her mum.
赚钱真的不容易啊。
Opening own business, is really not easy.

But it's okay. They are doing what they want to do. They are following their dream.
I feel so lazy and useless as compared to them lor. But they make me reflect on myself. What is it that I want from my life? What have I been doing all these while? I'm always living in comfort. Almost everything's given to me easily. Right now, it's one and only. And that's to focus, and do well for A levels.

Tomorrow is a new day. Going to rest well and work hard again tomorrow!
OK bye! My fan just break down on me and the heat's killing me slowly.


I miss my old sport.

The five rabbits

 

 

Had late dinner at The Five Rabbits Bistro & Bar with mum and dad last night. We ordered BBQ chicken pizza and salmon. The food was good, especially their pizza! They were having promotion 1 to 1 main course. Which means that if we order one main course, we can get another one for free. Super full when we leave! Haha! The place's nice and comfortable too. Can just stay there and chill hehe.
Oh! And when we were leaving, even though the place's called The Five Rabbits, I'm really surprised to see real rabbit over there! Haha! Damn cuteeeee. A lady was stroking the rabbit, and the rabbit just closes its eyes and sit there comfortably.

After our dinner, we head back to the Pasir Ris house to stay for the night. And it wasn't a peaceful night......sigh......Only had a few hours of sleep. The house's really scary I tell you :O Never am I going back there again.............

My goals for 20June and 21June:

1. Change my sleeping habits and sleep at 10.30pm sharp.
2. Stop watching Dongyi! Haha!
3. Finish chem thermody and math TYS 2007!

JIAYOU! I CAN DO THIS.

Dong Yi

Dong yi's so pretty and the King's soooo cute!! Omgggg I especially love their chemistry! Even though I'm only halfway through this drama, I highly recommend it! :D
This drama is about a water maid, which is Dong yi, who got the favour of the Queen and later the King. She then became concubine of the King. Although Dong yi's lowborn, she has an inquisitive, righteous and tenacious personality. And of course, a pretty face! :D She always seek for the truth and she never give up easily. Therefore, no matter what obstacles, she can always overcome them.

18th Birthday

Arnold with Sheryl and her boyfriend!

JC friends celebrating with me!

Pretty girl Jiaxin

Jiaxin's mango

Durian dessert at Hongkong

Making bday wish hehe

Stars from Michelle!

Peng zai and letter from Amelia!

Letter from Sasha!

Letter from Shien!

From Jiaxin!

Angbao from mum haha!

Xiexie gongzhu men!

Oh so cute! From Shimin!

Necklace from June! 

From Chongshien!

From bro's girlfriend!

Happy birthday to me!

xie xie da jia! :D

People

Today's quite a special day. Went to support jiaxin mum's hair salon since it's their opening day.
I think it's damn cool!! Starting a business really takes a lot of courage! Kudos to her mum! Haha!
Really hope that they will make it big.
Had a hair cut there and ginseng hair treatment. My mum came over to join us and talk talk after her work.

Then went over to my aunt house to visit grandma who came over from Malaysia. Mum chatted with grandma while I'm with my older cousin. Stayed there to talk for around 2hours before leaving. So why do I say that today's quite a special day. Because, the people I met today are inspiring people. Talking to them either made me feel inspired or made me feel comfortable. I'm glad to have such people in my life, people who inspire me to become a greater person. They're like the lighthouses in my life, guiding me to the right path.

These days to be honest, haven't been productive. Didn't sleep well too hence the very very dark cicles under my eyes! :'(

And I'm addicted to Dong Yi hahaha.

My dad also booked a holiday bungalow that's near pasir ris park for the whole week. It's a big house, but kind of wasted since we can't stay there for long, due to circumstances. But still, I'm loving it! :)

Oh! And the haze's giving me a headache! *run away crying*

Photos~