2012

Hello people!!!!

Do you miss me? I hope you do! I miss you too!

I'm enjoying myself in KL now! Not that kind of enjoy like "everyday is an exciting day" but rather "everyday is a peaceful day".

I'm now in this Indian shop near the house I stayed in. Awesome shop because it has wifi connection!! Chatting with Tingwei now while waiting for the photos to upload on to Facebook while blogging!:-D

It has been a week since I'm away from Singapore.

So many nights here, there's not a night where I got a good night sleep. So there goes my skin! It got so much worst, so many hateful pimples!!:-(

Last night, I watched new moon! I missed it last time when it's out in the movie!

Finished reading twilight too while I'm here in KL!
I just started reading the twilight series last week! Still new to it! It'snice!

Oh and a new update, I'm going to the class bbq! Yes me! The emo me is going!
But I doubt I'll stay long because I can foreseen that it will be abit uncomfortable.

But still, at least I must show my face and some class spirit! This probably will be the last gathering we have!

So dear Tingwei, please do go too!! I will need you so badly! :-(
Love you:-)

2012 is coming and 2011 is leaving. I have not much feeling. I'm feeling indifferent. But I know inside me, a part of me, I do look forward to the new year. What I look forward to actually, is becoming unofficially 17. It's a nice age. I like it.

Bye people! Happy new year and I miss you! :-D

I'm in my relative house now. The house IW stayed in didn't have wifi connection so I have to come to another person's house. Oh and dear tingwei and amelia my friends, if you are reading this, I am so very super jealous. YOU TWO ENT OUT AND ALSO TOOK SO MANY PHOTOS! And everytime I want to take photos you..you..hmph!

Anyway I'm having a GREAT time here too!

Nah. Not really.

Ok I'm done. Miss you guys.

:-)

Hi! In KL for the 3rd day already! I'm adapting pretty well here :-D But not being able to communicate with my grandma is driving me mad. I can't speak her dialect :-(
I'm sick. So unlucky! Here I am, to have fun, yet I'm sick.
Super short post because I'm in a hurry.

Ok bye!

leaving

I'm leaving now.
On the way to Kl. 24/12/2011 to 3/1/2012
Merry Christmas & happy new year & don't contact me through phone.
tyvm.

I'm actually excited leaving Singapore. Because if there's nothing here for me, I'll hope that something exciting will be awaiting me in another country.

Take care my friends. I will see you next year.

I will miss judo too.

No internet connection in another country but if I'm lucky I'll be able to find wifi connection somewhere. So stay tuned because when that happens I'll blog.

Miss you.
:)

BEAST_FICTION

Judo today was tough. We learnt many new moves and all but it's still very super fun!

I'm sorry but this post will be short because I have nothing to say already since I've told everything to TingWei!

We just had heart-to-heart talk on the phone kay! Very pro right!

And so I found another chat partner other than my brother and Tingwei say she's willing to hear me talk! I'm so glad and grateful! Now I don't need to wait alone at home for my brother to come back so that I can chat with him. :D

Oh yea, I almost forgot. Before judo, I went shopping with Oh Yu Zhen! :D We met super early(in my opinion) so after I reached home I'm like almost dead. Took a short nap before going to judo(I shouldn't have even took it!)

YuZhen and I went to orchard to window shop and then we went to catch a movie. Watched alvin and the chipmunks 3!!! Love it! THEY ARE SO CUTE. I love Theodore! He's super cute! I love Alvin too! They are sooooooo cute! :D

We went to somerset after the movie. Walked around and went around see see in Zara, Mango, Marc by marc jacobs etc.

Oh yea I'm working tomorrow can you believe it! :( Here come muscle ache with working. And I have to rush from one place to another place somemore!

Ok bye!

PS I am so happy I found another chat partner.

Dear bus, please move faster!! I GIVE YOU STRENGTH!!!!

Happening

15/12

I went Thomson Plaza with my brother! And yes, I have a nice brother who will bring his little sister out shopping<3 We went out at night and on the way we bumped into his friend who's saying how my brother is so good bringing me out. :) Well I can say I'm a nice sister too accompanying my brother out shopping! :D











16/12




Sick. Terribly sick.
This day was eventful. I was sick in the morning and then at night, I went to my Dad's company year end parttyyy! Cool much. Got high fever out of no where and no one was there for me so I took care of myself. And I do mean it. Took my own temperature, put cold towel on my forehead, drink lots of water etc. Went to the doc and tada, I'm still alive!:D Pretty pitiful actually when I thought of how I'm all alone when I'm suffering. But glad I survived it. So I'm pretty much up for the PARTY by evening! Posted the photos! Average party at an awesome location I'll say that. :D










17/12





Shopping at Hougang Mall when the sun set. :D If you have nothing, create something.
Why I say that? Because I kind of ran away on my own at night from the house. It's kind of dramatic but basically no one's bringing me out and I'm dejected and I felt like I'll go crazy if I continue to stay home. So without thinking, I took everything I needed and rushed out. My mum followed closely behind worried.
Ended up at Hougang Mall shopping!
This is what I bought: 1short from Cotton On, 3tops from Bossini, 3tops from Iora, 2shorts from Hue and lastly 1short from Kiyo.
I'm a happy girl!:D











18/12





Nothing. Just stayed home playing with my jigsaw puzzle. Oh yea, did I mention that I love playing with jigsaw puzzle? Oh hell yes! Love it!! So I spent the whole night trying to complete the 1000piece jigsaw puzzle.














19/12

I went bliss today! Full stop. -.- That's the only thing I did today. Come to think of it, it's true! Well I chatted on the phone with JiaXin, YuZhen and Sheryl. So I can say I kind of catch up with these ladies too today!:D

So that concludes my last five days!

I'll be back for more! Don't miss me too much, thank you.

PS I love my Dad.
:D

new skin

Ok so I changed my blogskin do you like it? XD Actually I kind of just saw this and then hmm quite nice and I changed it. Didn't bother to think too much over which skin to choose anymore. My computer is currently throwing tantrums and it just down there, couldnt move a thing so I'm blogging from my phone. Later..later I'll check again to see if my com is feeling better so I can blog a proper post.

Till then.

IU

Liking her more and more. IU!♥

Doing everything alone. Shopping alone..eating alone..

Stay tuned people! Tomorrow will be an exciting day!I hope!:D

FIRST LESSON

My FIRST lesson!!!:D I'm excited!! Hahas!

It's fun and it's not as scary as I've imagined!But then what I didn't expect was that there's no girl! Only the coach is girl the rest are guys! So imagine how I stepped inside the room and everyone stared at me! But then I got to know them and they are all nice people!:D This two guys who are new, like me, they are from the same primary school as Amelia and they know her too! So cool! So first lesson. And being the only girl. It was tough. And awkward. Cause you have to partner people to practice and so I partner with the coach. But then I tried once with the guy and it was awkward. And it's the first time I kind of hug a guy. Someone not from my family.

But still judo's fun! So I didn't regret signing up for it. And even if I regretted it, there's no turning back because I paid for it! If you didn't know, I actually learned Taekwondo before! But then that time I regretted it or something so I didn't continue. This time round I'm going to continue learning Judo. At least for the first semester.

And I have cool plans now!! And I'm excited about it! Going to execute my plans soon!

Take care people. :D

Seriously, what's happened to me. I need to start living and not just existing.

If you're interested

I think that what this person mentioned is worth sharing. Read it if you're interested.


Looks like there is a lot of good reviews for MI.

As I have mentioned in some other previous threads. It will not be a waste of time if you put in effort. It will only be a waste of time if you do not put in effort to study. I do admit that a good schooling environment will most definately help a student. However, that is not entirely true. The student has the larger role to play. Do not expect anyone to spoon- feed or babysit you. It's no longer in Primary school. I am sure Primary school these days encourage independent learning too.

How much you wish to achieve is entirely up to you. You can blame the whole world for not doing well. But ultimately, you need to reflect and evaluate if you have done and put in sufficient effort. Bystanders can give you all the advice they want, but at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, what are your goals or aims in life. What do you aim to achieve after so many years in the education system. I believe no path is a dead path.

For those choosing to go JC's. Do not be mislead that it is all pretigious and stuff. Because I have seen people who have failed, retained and had to do A levels again. I can tell you that embarassment is unbearable. I have seen my own friends having to re-take or some even worse getting kicked out after Year 1. Schools will always project how good their school are and reflect all the good statistics. I can tell you, its all a smoke screen. They are just trying to boost their own image. I have a good friend from one of the top jc (not going to name which one), after 2 years of A level, he attained nothing out of it. No UNI entry, and he had to retake his A levels and enter those kind of private UNIs in Singapore. How pathetic is that? It is a true story.

Life is not a bed of roses, there is only so much advice people can give you. At the end of the day, its all hardwork. Nothing but hardwork. Complacency always leads to failure. And that is what happened to some of my JC batch.

Nothing

Hello my readers! How are you? Enjoying life much?

I have nothing. I've nothing on my mind. Nothing on my to-do list. Nothing awesome.
Only mundane things. Watching movies, reading books, practicing my instruments or just staring into space. It is making me sick. Having nothing to do. The inactivity is making me fall sick.

It hurts too. Hurts my head.

But what should I do? Go working? Who will want to employ someone who can only commit for less than two weeks? Go malaysia? Even if I have nothing to do now, it doesn't mean everybody else have nothing to do. How can I disturb people's life?

Things aren't the way it should be.

So I played with my phone(awesome really! love my phone! ). Tried to change blog skin but couldn't find one that's nice and suitable. Updated my tumblr.

Do visit my tumblr!

www.yilians.tumblr.com

Thanks peeps!

I'll continue to update you on what I've been doing! Such as what movies I've watched or what books I'm reading.

Stay tuned!

"Yes, he thought, between grief and nothing I will take grief."

The house I stayed in and the room I slept in!







































10/12

Party day!

Got up in the morning around 7.30am and got a big shock. Almost everyone in the room disappeared! What the hell, so early?! I thought. Dim sum for breakfast. After we return to the house, we watched Avatar to pass time and it's damn nice!! A long movie but interesting! Shopping after Avatar, went to Jusco this time round.

After walking the WHOLE Jusco, it's not even 3! Lunched and head back. So we got 4more hours before the party commence. Did some reading, tried to take a nap but end up playing with the kids.

PARTY!

Saw eclipse! So cool!

Went back to Singapore in my Dad's car.

Watched YESMAN when I'm home!
So I slept at 4 last night.

End of trip. :)

11/12

Gym with Jiaxin!!:D Finally I exercised! More than one month already!
Fun! But don't know how to use the equipments.
Jiaxin was there to guide me and she's a pro! Super pro!
There's this two guys who are kind enough to help me this noob too!

Had dessert after gym!

Bye!:D

Is Yes Man nice? YES!

I'm back. I'm back early. Avatar very nice! Blog another day :)

I found a shop with wifi connection AGAIN.

YOOHOO!~

So we went shopping! Went to Jusco and then to City Square and lastly, KSL. They are awesome because there's pretty clothes everywhere but I didn't buy anything. Don't ask me why. So many times I saw something I like I just RESIST. I must be crazy.

Having tea now.

Hopefully, really, we can head home soon.

Ciao!

I'm now in Malaysia for the second day. :-D So so so glad that i found wifi connection in this shop I'm in now!XD

So my first morning here. Arrived here last night at around 10. Living in a big house but feeling lonely. But still, I had a good night sleep. So had breakfast with my 2nd aunt family at 8plus. When we got back to the house, we used near one hour just trying to operate the television set.

Listened to Abba and watched one movie that has Li Lianjie which I don't understand what they are talking about. So did some reading. Basically there's NOTHING to do in the house so we have to keep ourselves entertained.

If you haven't know, I'm here for my cousin's birthday party on Sat.

And PLS don't contact me by phone :-( Someone help me tell Michelle :-(

I have to eat now!!
And I wonder when's the next time I got to come online.

Till then!:-D

I'M LEAVING FOR MALAYSIA SO PLEASE DON'T CONTACT ME.
WILL BE BACK ON SUNDAY. MUACKS.

Breaking

6/12

This is the longest time I spent buying presents. Went out with this lady over there! We were out at 11am. Amk hub first before we trained to orchard. Lunched there. Then trained to somerset but walked back to orchard. We were really clueless. And we walked the same street for N time. Trained to Dhoby Ghaut as our last stop before heading home. It was eight thirty when I reach home.

Even though it was REALLY tiring, we had endless fun! Tons of LOL moments for us!:DDD

And there's this mirror in a toilet that we can't even see our face!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! How inconsiderate! But it was super funny!

We walked till our legs feel like it's breaking anytime.











































































To my dear friend:

Dear Amelia, I read your blog and I'm glad that you are touched by the presents. Actually, it's not the card that's the main character if you haven't notice. It's the box of cards. That box of cards is the main highlight of the presents. It's the present that I put in the most effort in for the sixteen years of life(abit exaggerating). But still, I started preparing for it since August. And the shopping with Tingwei we spent almost whole day searching for the suitable box and all. And then hours writing and writing. But forgive me for my messy handwriting. I want you to know that you are worth every effort we put in for you. Hope you will love it. Sweet sixteen.
xx

I don't know what I'm feeling now. But it's definitely negative. I don't even have the mood to cry out loud. Looking horrible now. Breaking dawn today was nice. Forgive me people. I'll blog properly tomorrow.

I went working today!:D

My aunt called me suddenly again and I went working again!
It's as usual tiring but then business is better which is good!~~
Something good about working there is you get to meet different peeps!
If you are lucky, you get to serve nice-looking people! Woots!~
Last friday work day I got to serve one handsome guy!
He just smiles at you sweetly and you will melt. Hahas!
I'm loving the feeling of working more and more. Am I crazy?:D

I have cool colleagues! So it makes it more fun!

Free chicken rice! Today I had the best chicken rice ever! The chicken was so soft I love it! Then they tell me it's the backside of the chicken. Went home and asked my Dad, he says it's bad! It has toxic in it and eating too much of it you will be sick or something. My Mum says it's good! You will get more smooth skin!

Who should I believe?!

And I had weird dreams! And I am someone who look very much into the hidden meaning of dreams! O.O

Shopping on Tues! Movie on Wed! Malaysia on Thurs! I'm going Malaysia!!~

Byebyebyebyebye!

Update

2/12

Work day.
I was called to work at the very last minute because my aunt needed people. So I canceled my plan to go band and went workinggggg!~ It's nice meeting my colleagues (I consider them to be) after a full year. They are still the same old pattern and fun too! My work day went quite smoothly and I'm getting better this time round due to the experience gained last year. :-D But it's hard work for little money. After a day of working, we packed and left. I can say I did my best and well, it's not another slacking day which is good. But it's so hard work that I had many realisation. My aunt is too pitiful. It's not even her choice. She wanted to receive education when she's young but her request was ignored due to the time when people are biased against girls. Study hard people when we got such a good opportunity.

3/12

Shopping day.
I am out to the town with jiaxin!! Yoohoo!~ It's our first time out shopping after O level can you believe it! We went shop shop at orchard ion had dessert there too but because it's too cold so we went back to ang mo kio. I bought a wallet at the wallet shop and a short at mango. Jiaxin bought a shoe! We were out for the whole day! HAPPY day!:-D
Even though I don't show, but I hope you know how much I love you.

4/12

Slacking day.
And yes, I just slacked the day away. Well I watched hours of drama and did some reading.

Okay bye!

pasta pasta

I just started watching this drama! Hmm...I think it's going to be great! It's only the second episode and I'm loving it!
How I spent my day? Today, I overslept! Felt pretty guilty because Mr Tan was late because of me.
I didn't sleep last night because I couldn't sleep and because I was watching drama! So Mr Tan fetched Sheryl and YiLian to huayi secondary to practice. It has been looooong since I last seen Mr Tan! I missed him! I know he missed me too! :D So Sheryl and YiLian didn't play we just watched huayi play for three hours. I was reflecting.

My conclusion: I miss playing in a band.

And then I envy the band members there for two reasons. Firstly, they can play in a band. Secondly, they can play in a good band. What I mean good is they are playing together, enjoying the music together. There are many definitions of good, like good players playing together. But if they don't play as a band, even if individually they are good, it won't produce the same effect.

After their practice, YiLian, Sheryl and Mr Tan went for lunch together!:D We were chatting and all before heading home!

I'm going to my cousin house to play later on! And maybe visit Amelia and Sheryl who will be working!! Hah!
Mr Tan's idea! Visit them and ask them to serve me! Order a cup of tea and sit there for hours staring at them working and give them pressure! Weeee~~~ Hahas!

Tomorrow I'm going back mayflower! Hopefully I won't oversleep again!>< I've already overslept for two days straight!


It's scary when you are too free!

Think about how you view yourself in your own head. Do you think mostly about the things you feel you' re lacking-do you think you're not pretty enough, smart enough, articulate enough? Do you spend most of your time dwelling on the things that hold you back? This us how the unconscious mind keeps its grip on us. The mind has a fear of fulfilment, and as a perfection-seeking organism its job is to keep telling you what's wrong, what you can keep striving for. It thrives on the negative dialogue, and the more engaged with life you become the less attention you will end up giving it.

I made up my mind! Woohoo~

Alone

Shoppinggg with Amelia, Sheryl AND Michelle just now!! Woohooo~~
We went to illuma first and then went to bugis street for awhile before finishing with a dinner at Sheryl's workplace!! :D Great~ We were out till late and even though I'm now not used to it, it's great to finally be doing SOMETHING. Hah! I mean, it's great to finally be OUT of house! Wonderfuull feeling~ You won't believe how I went home feeling satisfied. Even though I didn't buy ANYTHING at all. Just window shopping and shopping for Amelia's sake.
Therefore, I'm finding work! I'm no longer just THINKING but finding.
Me: 我要出去找工作了。Brother: 好啊！至少你不会在家翘屁股了！
Later will be out to meet the employer with Amelia. XD

Alone. I've tried doing almost everything alone. But not shopping for clothes alone. I guess I'm going to try it tomorrow!! Before meeting the person later on and before meeting Amelia I'm going shopping alone. I hope...Successfully.
Bye!

How are you

Finished watching 49days!
So touching! Funny too!:D

21/11
Missed prom! Spent my time at home. Watching drama! No money luh!

20/11
Cut my hair :D Finalllyyyy! The first thing I wanted to do after O level! And I waited for 4days!! Nice things are worth the wait.

17/11

Movie plus badminton with Shimin and Amelia.
The movie was kind of nice :D
Because it's kind of scary and I got scared for like a few times!
It's scary so it's nice but I don't get the ending so it's not nice.
Hmm..anyway I had fun! :D

Reminiscing

15/11/2011

Cousin's birthday 'party' plus dinner with relatives and brother :D
Even though we are all living under the same sky, it's been as long as one year since all of us had seen each other and sit together to chat. We are so close to each other yet so far ):
It's nice just catching up like this :D After eating, we sit around and chat for hours before going home. :D

Things will not always go the way I want.

After slacking, I have to take a rest before starting my work. Because slacking takes up energy too. :-X

Is it really...ending soon?

kyuhyun.... 7 years of love (eng subs)

Sleep . Study. Computer . Sleep . Computer.

As much as I fear a life with exams after exams, I fear an aimless life.

一样爱着你

不怕末日　因为我有你
你給我的　不计较原因
我一直相信　笑容不需要练习

忘不了你　慌张的表情
像捨不得　消失的流星
我无法相信　你把我留在原地

找着等着　我想你　想得彻底
就让我　痛着喊着用力哭泣

我还是一样的爱着你
不管多少人勸我放弃
有时候我会哼起回忆
这是你可以　給我的勇气

我还是一样的爱着你
等待的幸福更不需要怀疑
我知道我可以　一直这样爱你

忘不了你　慌张的表情
像捨不得　消失的流星
我无法相信　你把我留在原地

找着等着　我想你　想得彻底
就让我　痛着喊着用力哭泣

我还是一样的爱着你
不管多少人勸我放弃
有时候我会哼起回忆
这是你可以　給我的勇氣

我还是一样的爱着你
等待的幸福更不需要怀疑
我知道我可以　一直这样爱你

回到过去　Oh
是你牵著我保护我　是你一直爱着我

有时候我会哼起回忆
这是你可以　给我的勇氣

我还是一样的爱着你
等待的幸福更不需要怀疑
我知道我可以　一直这样爱你

我永远都願意　一直这样爱你

Nice nice!

Hungry hungry!
The drama is taking F.O.R.E.V.E.R to load!
I hope I didn't make the wrong choice of not sleeping! ><

Man! This is tiring! History is over.
Should I sleep or use com? But I'm tooooo tired to sleep!!!!

What I studied came out. Good good. And then, ss is....over!YIPEE!!

If you feel something for someone and you don't express it, it's selfish. You should never assume that someone knows how you feel. It takes a strong person to be vulnerable. Put aside differences, forgive others, say,'I love you' whenever you have the chance. Even if the effort is not reciprocated, you'll know that you did your part.

Erin Sanders

I'm satisfied with POA and I'm not confident with Biology. A super extremely tired day.
SS tomorrow. Come on. I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU!!><

I'm so tired. But I couldn't sleep every night. Insomnia has hit me.

How to fall asleep?How to quieten down the voices in my head?

How to beat insomnia :(

I'm real lucky I have no papers later on.

I know I know. I SHOULD go and sleep now, but I COULDN'T.

I might as well share with you something!

I super LOVE this series! I'm catching it everyday ,7pm!

Of course, I won't neglect my studies because of it. (:

BUT then..I' m sooo gonna finish it after o!!

Good night/morning!

I wish that everything is well for you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PANG SHI MIN!!

You set your eyes on your goals. You see nothing only your goals.

My beloved friend

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA CHOO SHU XIAN!!

For me the hardest part was laying in bed, alone, during the middle of the night, drenched in fear. As I laid awake in terror, I learned to pray for help and learned to meditate so I could hear the answer. I tried to be as much in the now as possible.

Tamara Kerner

So far, the day hasn't been productive.

That morning I realized that even though I was blessed with a lot of loving people in my life, not everyone will choose to remain a part of my life forever. It’s harsh and gave me the shudders. But it was ultimately a truth.

Another truth I realized was that there was just one entity who will always be there for me—always. No strings attached. And that’s my inner self. In good times, and in bad, it is there to comfort me.

So what’s the point to panic? None. Whatever happens, always remember you are not alone. Don’t panic.

Pooja Lohana

With the certificate in hand, smiles on our faces, we bid goodbye.
In a few hours time, I will going to school for the last day, as a mayflowerian.

Weirdly, I have no feelings.Why?!Because I'm too overwhelmed by o level to care about other stuff.
Anyway, yesterday Lili spotted my FIRST white hair! Omg.
It's dedicated to the o.

Nice right! Yes!

I'm not slacking. This is my study break! Hehe.
Once beaten, twice shy. I'm really worried that I'm just receiving what I'm studying and I won't be able to extract them. Just like before prelim. Which means ineffective studying! ><

I'll just pray then. SS now!

I almost cried.



Actually I did.

Today, I stayed home. Erm should say yesterday. I found that I complete more. But I missed school. As in really miss school. Just two more weeks and we will be graduating. Sometimes I really hate change. But it's not my choice too. Everybody have to move on. Change is inevitable.

I really hope that I have faith in myself, that i believe everything will be smoothsailing and i will do just fine. I really hope that I stop giving myself all those unnecessary stress that I may freak out before o level even begin. Things are really tough now. And I learn that I should really go to school and chill out instead coping in the house until I almost burst!

Whatever man. O level is not everything. And what I mean is, if I really tried my best and the result is still not good, so what. It's not the end. Yea, maybe I will cry buckets of tears here and there ,but, in the end, everybody will move on. So now, let's just do our best! And here's where positive thinking play a part!

We can do it!

Btw, hongwei's too evil! How can he go around telling people he thinks I became fatter! Hmph.

I'm sleeping soon and not touching the books anymore till tomorrow! Hehe.

You belong with me.

My confused feelings, I have to settle them fast. Now is just not the right time to have these feelings.

Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.
~Richard Kline

not going down

Now is NOT the time to feel demoralised. Now is NOT the time to cry over split milk. Now is Not the time to be affected by other people. Just believe in yourself and carry on. Cry it out and carry on working.

I dream about you when I'm sleeping I think about you when I'm awake.

Hello! Today, I struggled with math again, finished one chemistry paper two and wrote two english essays. As for maths, I couldn't solve the question! My brother was preparing for his promos which is tomorrow, Amelia was not here and I couldn't possibly ask my mum. So I approached my father. We tried to solve it for like an hour.

Anyway, he criticized my essay! SO SAD. Lots of criticism and all.

I don't consider today as productive. But I do hope my maths improved. Hehe.

Night!

You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose.
~Lou Holtz and John Heisler, The Fighting Spirit

study date

Amelia expresses her love for me!













































































































The paper was almost torn as I rubbed it again and again Math! Why can't I solve you!
I got stuck at almost every question!

Today I struggled with Emath and finished two ss sbq. It was not that productive!Well because Amelia and I was chatting non stop we talked about the dreams we had we talked about friendships etc and we played with my phone! Heheh.

It's almost 12am when I reached home!

Tomorrow I guess I'm staying home to study. And I'm now reading biology while blogging! Sleeping soon!

The longer you are stuck at it, the sooner you will solve it.

mathematics

The study of the measurement, properties, and relationships of quantities and sets, using numbers and symbols.

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

fluttering heart

Maybe studying in school is the best for me. Today Amelia and I had stayed in school till night until i was so exhausted my eyes couldn't open that we went home. After I reached home, all my energy came back and I am energized
This afternoon Mrchen was here! Woohoo! I spammed him questions for one hour plus and it is really effective! I mean I learnt alot too. And especially happy was he praised me! He said I improved and if i continue working hard, I'll be fine.Yoohoo! ~ *jumping up and down with joy* His words meant a lot to me. They also reassured me. Now I feel that all those hard work before preliminary didn't go to waste, because biology 's did, it made me feel so much better.Hahhaha. So nothing else today except for the talk by the principals. I don't really care how others feel about me, but I do care how I feel about myself. I'm not going to feel inferior anymore but move forward.

You made my heart beat faster .

do you bother enough to care

Yesterday's marina barrage trip was not as bad as expected. But I was emotionally drained after I came home and I slept for hours. Little was accomplished.

Today, history repeat itself. I slept for hours as well and I am only left with THREE hours to study! ><
School these days are weirdly exhausting, when in fact, we didn't do much. I guess it's all those pretense that's taking away most of my energy.

Mrs Thomas said today that if we are thinking of all those chemistry equations, math formulas, hitler and stalin when we are sleeping, it shows that we are not resting well enough. And that by dreaming of them while sleeping, we are not really registering them into our subconscious but in fact they are only at the surface and we will forget them very soon. Ohno! And I thought it was a good thing to dream about them.: (

These days I've been having weird dreams! Dreams that are very extreme, one night I can be having a very sweet dream and next night I will be having a nightmare! But the positive aspect overtook the negative aspect. Because my sweet dreams are tooo~ sweet. Hehe. I found myself looking forward to the end of the day.

And I'm going to sleep soon! Mrs Thomas says it is important to have a good night sleep!
Wish you have a sweet dream.


There seems to be a voice in my head constantly telling me that I am not good enough, sometimes, it will tell me that I'm bad. Always reminding me. Always.

No more distractions from now on. No more commitments except the o.

moving back and forth

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.

~Sally Field

Study with an end in mind

Study with an end in mind. I am doing this paper now, what is it that I want to achieve?

Full marks ? A1 ? A2 ? Or just a pass ? With an end in mind, a goal, you will get there or near there.

My study methods are not working. And I got the same freaking sucky results for Chemistry prelim. The more I thought of it, the more I have to fight the tears from falling. And I want to know, why? Why am I getting this sucky result yet again? Why am I back to square one?

Afterall, I focused my time on Chemistry and I can say I really studied hard this time round.

So I felt really terrible. I seems to lose sight of where I'm going next. How should I move on. And whenever I touched my books and start studying, in the back of my mind, it will be the digits I got for Chemistry. I lost the momentum. Lost the drive to move forward. So these two days, I no longer study as hard. And as a mean of escaping, I wasted my time taking nap that lasted for hours.

But, after I woke up from my sleep just now and read Amelia's sms about what MrGad advised, I realised something. Why am I doing this to myself? How can I treat myself like that?

Because if you ask me, it's a miracle I can sit down and study for hours non-stop and there are days when I studied for the whole day. I used to can't stand studying just two hours. I can barely reach two hours. But for this prelim, I actually got into the habit of studying in the library for the whole day until the library closes, for almost everyday. When I start studying, the feeling I got was great, so I continued studying, even when I'm really saturated and exhausted, I told myself, it'll be worth it and I pushed myself further. I started forcing myself to take in the information faster and getting more done in the day. Till the point where I didn't stop to think. Am I really absorbing the information? Or is it just on the surface?

That's where things went wrong.

I am forcing myself to study. I am studying for the sake of studying hard. Because studying super hard made me feel good about myself. But, it's not effective!

It is not because I didn't work hard enough, it's because I didn't work smart enough.

And I don't deserve all those torturing I gave myself. When I said, I did my best, how can I still treat myself so badly?

All I need to do is to change my ways. Because now I have faith in myself that I have enough discipline to sit down and study. One problem settled, isn't it great?

When studying, don't have a mindset of chionging. Because the opposite work better.

Hello! And see! Amelia! What dedicating this song to me and that it really suit me har! Hmph!

Hehe. But I prefer the song that's before it more. More touching.

I posted it up! Give you face right:D

These few days I can't say I camped in the library, but I can already feel accustomed to it and that it's like my another home. But I still don't like the walking distance there and the air-con inside :(

I'm thinking that I'll choose Mac over library seriously, just like Amelia.

These days, I realised that my memory is really bad and that I should really re-consider when I give my promises. Instead of giving empty promises, I'll rather give no promises.

"Promise little and do much."

~Hebrew Proverb

John Wooden on true success

"If you make the effort to do the best of which you're capable, try and improve the situation that exists for you, I think that's success. And I don't think others can judge that."

John Wooden on true success | Video on TED.com

I love this. (:

Hello people. I think I miss the outside world. Having deactivated facebook, I'm still not used to it. Nowadays, I've been studying. I've been changing my strategy again and again. So for now, I think I'm focusing on building up my foundation. The basic concepts. Next week and school is reopening. Btw I've been lazy to update but I'm here now because I can't sleep. It's so irritating these few days as I will lie on my bed for hours unable to fall asleep. So at night when I can't sleep, I'll be bored and wondering what to do. Other than my sleep pattern, I'm been quite well these few days. And I'm really hoping that my hard work will pay off.

Oh and I changed the blogskin because as long as they display the date it is better than the last one.

That's all. (:

I'm feeling exhausted right now. Let's see what I did today. I had violin exam which make me freaked out. I changed, tied up my hair, and rushed to school. And expected, I was late for the english course. I found it useful and interesting!

Then, had a nice and fun chat with tingwei before heading home. When I'm home, I slacked and watched Protect the boss , which is nice! Yoga lesson at night and I'm loving it still <3. After revising some english and nothing else, I'm here blogging! I guess I'll call it a day and reluctantly waste another day away as you can see, I did almost zero revision. I'm beat.(Why? Is it because today is Monday?)

No more excuses from tomorrow onwards Yilian! We shall chiong all the way!

Night.

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.~Peter T. Mcintyre

Tell you the truth, I've been slacking these few days. I'm not out studying and I'm not studying at home.

And I've been having sleepless nights. This morning, my brother and I went jogging and flying kite!

Before the sun rise, we were jogging and I'm ahead of my brother! Because he slowed down intentionally :( My drive came from him as I ran with all my might thinking, Don't overtake don't overtake don't overtake. If he really run, he'll soon be out of my sight. And then we went kite flying. It's my first time and after several failed attempts I finally managed to fly it high! The feeling was too awesome! After we are satisfied, we head back home and I manage to catch up with my sleep.

Tomorrow shall be my last SWSY practice and the day after shall be my violin exam!!! Omg.

After my violin exam, I'm hoping I will find back the momentum again and chiong my studies. It marks the start of intensive studying.

Anyway, haiz. There's this person who I think find joy in me not studying. When I'm down, you will be happy and when I'm up, you will be worried.

It's okay because I think almost everyone can't help having these kind of thoughts. But making it so obvious is not making me very happy.

I will give my best shot!(:

I like it what you want

Hello I'm currently clueless of what to do so I think I might as well blog rather than staring into space. I'm not in the mood to do anything. Just feel like sleeping. But if I go to sleep, I'll feel like I wasted one day. Argh! 52dayyyyyyyyyys.

School today is not that nice and comfortable. I felt kind of frustrated I guess the bad weather contributes to it too. Haiz..so I had a long nap after I came home. And then violin lesson at night, I bumped into hong wei twice, my teachers have been very nice, I had slight stomachache and thats all.

Teachers day celebration tomorrow I have to go even though I'm reluctant to do it:(

My current worries are my violin exam and studies:( and etc of course. I think I've been avoiding a lot of things recently, and by avoiding them, it'll only get worse.

But I'm really not in the mood to confront them now. I mean, studies are the most important.

I'll have to give my best and pray for good results.

A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away.
Bil Keane

Okay thats all for the post today :D

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

~Oscar Wilde

wednesday weird

I'm not at library today because I'm too tired to get out of the house. I was studying POA and then plan to take a short nap, but I seems to got stuck to the bed after waking up and my eyes felt droopy. Without realising, I'm back to sleep. But lucky I studied later on.

Let's see. Today I studied POA and SS and abit of Biology and Chemistry. But I'm not yet ready for tomorrow's paper. I'll just try my best! (:

"The maxim states: ""Not to advance is to retreat."" The point is to continue forging ahead despite any storms or hardships that may arise, to be fearless and advance like a lion. Last lap towards the end of your secondary school education! Gogogo! "

MrChng (: Hehe.

monday blues

Kind of screwed up O level english oral and was feeling rather dejected after leaving school library.I really don’t like oral! And Chinese oral kind of already gave me a bad feeling about it. Well, it's over time to move on. Yesterday I had made a decision to "live" in the library, which means to spend most of my time there.
Prelim starts tomorrowww . Wish me luck!

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying.”

—	Sarah Dessen

Sacrifice – Are you prepared to sacrifice your leisure activities or not spending recreational time with your family just to commit to your task at hand? It is crucial that you are able to place your goal as top priority; over and above everything else which should take second place. If you are not motivated enough to be solely dedicated to your goals, it will be virtually impossible for you to make sacrifices and give your goal that number one position in your life. When you let everything else get in the way, your goals will be ignored, neglected and eventually forgotten. Making any sacrifice requires a deep sense of commitment to your personal desire, your reason, your motive and inmost intention; only then will you be willing, prepared and enthusiastic enough to see through your goals; without being tempted by other distractions or excuses. Remember that turning to excuses will always be your first and greatest obstacle to achieving your goals – so it is important you set your mind on what you want and not fall prey to distractions.

There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

dream it

Hello Thursday.

Chinese O level I had gotten an A2, with paper 3 a merit.

My family seems to be satisfied and happy with it.

My first reaction was relief. Phew~

But after thinking about it, I haven’t achieve my target and it is one of my best subject(kind of like the only hope) and I didn’t get an A1.

I’m not retaking because I guess it’s because of oral. It’s not likely to make any difference.

So I guess I’ll just move on and work hard on other subjects.

I’m getting nervous as the days neared. I really want to do well(everyone wants)

But the question is, “Am I willing to work hard for it?”

Not everyone has the chance to take O level and yet I’m not giving my best for it.

I AM moving forward, but not on full speed.

Btw, I deactivated my fb account. I guess I'll be back after O level.

I’m slowly losing faith in myself.

Please grant me a wish. And that's to do well for O level.

The Mountain-Moving Momentum Law says that nothing can stop you except your own resistance. Blow past your resistance and you'll discover that what you thought would take years to achieve, only required a few weeks or even days.

Jung Yong Hwa

I've been watching his shows these few days. Jung Yong Hwa.

:D

Traumerei

What do you think of this song? (:

Christian Lindberg

Nice. Really nice :D

it's not going so well

Study date with Jollibbee, Tingwei and Amelia at amk mac.

Violin lesson in the morning and my Dad woke me up at 7 to study(I didn't).

The weather was very humid and hot(Argh!!!!!!!!!!!) and I'm having my period and I haven't eaten anything ever since I woke up and I have to run errands for my mum and I was worrying about what to wear for my piano competition and I was held up for admin stuff at my music school and I'm late.

Studied with Jollibbee but I didn't make much progress.

So I left early.

Today is such a not good day.

Btw, I'm done with my outfit for my competition!!:D

and hopefully the days get better

I'm beat.

Monday: Study date with Amelia, Shimin, Michelle and TingWei :D + Study date with Amelia.

Tuesday:

Study date with Amelia at amk mac.

We stayed in mac drive thru for 8 hours studying hard with occasional breaks.

I know you guys are proud of us! We left when we felt we can't take it anymore and really saturated with information.

I did Chem, Bio and Emath and I've decided that I'll focus on these three subjects! Chiong ah!

Nothing special happened today except when a cockroach appear at my house!! A big big cockroach! My brother and I were like discussing strategies to capture it and we were running around the house. He got scared like me! Tsk tsk. It's a really big cockroach!

And today's a really productive day!

Agenda for tomorrow: Practice violin in the morning. Study date with Amelia, Jollibbee and Tingwei in the afternoon and night.

Take care!

Sir Winston Churchill was scheduled to make a speech at an elementary school. He was known to be a great orator, and the auditorium was packed with students and teachers who wanted to hear him speak. At the appointed time Churchill strolled onto the stage towards the podium. A hush of silence fell onto the crowd, out of respect and in anticipation of a brilliant speech. When he reached the podium Churchill remained silent for a long time before he said, "Never, never, never, never, never, never give up." Then he turned around and walked off the stage.

and another day passed

Saturday: Slacking at Sheryl's house.

Sunday: Sws practice, study date with Amelia at amk library and dinner with Mum. :D

I was really angry and pissed off with my dad that I nearly cried.

He bought a black blazer for me which he thinks I need and I thinks I don't need which cost him 50bucks.

Whatever I typed out in this space was not saved, it disappeared and it's really long so I'm not retyping.

Point form:

• Amelia came to my house for the first time
• I was really happy playing trombone today because two pro players were with me
• I can't accept the fact that a small plate of vegetables cost 6bucks. Argh!

Ty and bye.

Ice Princess

Seventeen year old Casey Carlyle, a bookworm and physics geek, plans to use her academic skills to purse a scholarship to Harvard University.But her passion was ice skating and in the end she gave up Harvard for her dream.

Awesome movie recommended by Jollibbee((:

the guilt is killing me

Mayflower band 2011((:





















School today was irritating, but much much much better than yesterday's.

After school Jollibbee and I kind of half-run -half -walk back to her house and I borrowed her pants and jacket.
We then flagged a cab down to the Kallang Leisure Park for a ice-skating session! Woots!~
It was reasonably fun and I'm really hoping that it's worth my moneyyyy.
Yes. I went ice skating instead of studying.

So Bee and I were like having MUCH difficulties. Timlin, Angie, LiXuan, Kaili and Qinrong, they were guiding us! Thanks a bunch!

I fell once.

There were so many times when I almost fell.

Once, Timlin were like going so fast(intentionally!)and we lost control. It was scary and I was grabbing Timlin so hard for my dear life.

Another time, Timlin(again), he were holding us and there were two other band members at the other side forming a long chain and suddenly, there were someone in between Bee and I.
We let go and wow, I almost fall.

I am sorry.

Sorry to Yanjia.

This time I really fell, but it's with yanjia and she was badly hurt. I think it's my fault :(
We were skating together holding hands and it was not long when I lost balance and both of us fell. We were holding each other face to face and I fell forward she fell backward. She hurt her back or something and she was in so much pain she couldn't speak or get up. If only we didn't skate together alone because both of us weren't good and if only I had grabbed her and stopped her from falling back. I'll pray that she recover soon.

I am feeling guilty. It's moments when you caused something bad to happen , even though it was not your intention , you will feel so bad.

So I stopped skating then and went back to rest.


Overall, I think this ice skating session was thrilling (:

Skating with band members and seeing how they will gather together immediately to help when one of the band member fell. They are bonded.

It's a good time for members to relax and have fun too after all those hard work. (Especially our dear current seniors)

A cool Friday =D


Btw, I NEED A DRESS!