Not much inspiration to blog. But since I'm waiting for my movie to load, might as well do it.
Had my first day of school yesterday. Or more of first night of school.
Having night classes felt really different as compared to normal school hours.
While most students were packing their bags and heading home, I was getting ready for school.
My first lecture went out quite well, since I learnt most of them in my JC days.
It felt more like a revision for me. Hopefully things will get better from here.
I received my piano exam result yesterday too I passed.
Gonna start looking for job.
While the future looks so uncertain.
I'll just tread slowly. Do my best!
Friday, September 12, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Swing here and there
My mood swing a bit jialat ah! Swing here swing there.
I can be very happy for one moment and the next moment suddenly I'm sad again.
Anyway, had second judo session at SIM today.
I almost died. And in this case, ONLY in this case, that's a good thing.
I hope I'll be almost dying in every other sessions(you know what I mean!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
MUCH BETTER
I'm feeling much better now and I'm glad!
Quite ironic. Since I felt better after I returned to Singapore haha!
Tough judo sessions help a lot too.
Trained at SIM on Monday and at Tampines on Tuesday.
Met awesome bunch of new people.
Almost died at training.
All these definitely helped.
I'm just glad.
I realized I love love, love this quote!
Somehow, it makes me feel better.
"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."
Feel it. Feel it to your very soul.
Feel it even if it makes you feel like dying.
And magical things start to happen.
Somehow, you'll survive.
And somehow, you'll find a way.
Only when you truly felt the pain, you'll truly experience growth.
After every pain, you'll survive. And you'll emerge even stronger.
I'm just glad. To feel so much better now.
Another thing I've learned. To know whether or not a person's sincere.
It'll be helpful. Cause you'll be able to avoid unnecessary pain.
UPDATEUPDATE:
Finished watching:
eat pray love
harry potter and the philosopher's stone
harry potter and the chamber of secrets
harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
harry potter and the goblet of fire
Rewatched:
the hunger games
catching fire
Finished reading:
The fault in our stars
Halfway through the first phone call from heaven by mitch albom.
I love love, love mitch albom's books.
Read all his books.
Going phuket in mid October! I can't wait ALREADY.
School's starting next Monday. I can't wait to get my driving license too.
To you who are reading this, stay strong.
Last words: Overthinking kills!
No more overthinking!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
last night of escape trip
Taking my time to write out this blog post.
(since that's what I have now)
"Fearful of own thoughts"
I realized I'm fearful of my own thoughts. How scary is that.
Because your thoughts make up your habits. Your habits make you.
You are your thoughts.
Too much negativity in me. Steaming from all my negative thoughts.
Vulnerable. Sensitive.
I shall confess here. This quote makes me feel guilty.
Sometimes, I am a superficial person in front of other people.
Not all the time, I promise.
Everybody's different in terms of their personality, thoughts, character.
So, depending on who they are, I'll try my best to fit to them.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. But still, it makes me ..not me.
I don't know leh. Maybe it's me. Just a different part of me?
We have to define "me" then.
Anyway, I never have bad intentions.
I guess that's what they meant by trying to fit in?
It upsets me, because it's one of the way I've changed.
Old me aren't like that. Old me was sincere all the time.
Old me find it hard to fit in anywhere. But still, old me was .. me.
Old me find it hard to express myself. Yet every words were sincere.
Old me sacrifices everything for band.
Old me only has band in mind.
Old me was willing to go the distance for band.
It upsets me too, when people can't see the real me.
And by real, I mean the insecurities.
I'm not as stable as most think. Not as emotionless as most think.
I get hurt countless times in a day. Intentional or unintentional.
Can't really take jokes.
Those hurtful jokes bother me all day.
Whether or not they really meant it or they're just jokes.
But on the surface, I'll not show any sign.
I'll just go along with it. Laugh it off.
I guess that makes me tougher..?
I can handle them better and better haha!
"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"
No matter what, I want people to see the happy me.
Happy, cheerful.
That'll make them happy too....no?
I guess no.
Nobody's always happy.
People should see the real me.
Happy or not.
Rather people hate the real you, than love the fake you.
Everybody's different. An original.
My thoughts. I don't like them.
But hiding from them, makes me fear them.
Sometimes, I just want to freaking change everything bout myself.
But it's too irrational.
Maybe possible, but that's not it.
Positive thoughts. Positive lifestyle.
Starting from my lifestyle.
Focus on the good.
My greatest takeaway from this trip will be the morning exercise for sure.
Waking up at a fixed timing every morning and leaving house at 7.45am to exercise.
After a good workout, have a hearty breakfast.
Start the day early, start the day right.
The morning is a beautiful sight.
MUST keep at it after I returned to Singapore!!!
Make it a habit. Make it part of me.
I felt so much more positive after I start this routine.
I felt like I can accomplish so much more too since the day felt so much longer.
I will give myself to what I do too. No more band for now.
But there's judo. And there's piano.
My loves.
Don't give in to all the negativity.
Put all my energy and focus on the right things.
Don't think too much too.
Simple life. Simple thoughts.
I'll be back from Malaysia on Sunday night.
One last week of holiday before school starts officially.
It didn't really have impact on me cause I'm studying part time.
Starting work at music center scares me even more.
Teaching piano...SO SCARY!
It'll be a new phase in my life.
New school. New job. Working and studying at the same time.
Writing this blog post out made me scared too.
Writing out my thoughts.
It makes me feel vulnerable.
But I guess...I'll just let this vulnerability get to me.
Just be vulnerable for once.
And we'll emerge even stronger.
(since that's what I have now)
"Fearful of own thoughts"
I realized I'm fearful of my own thoughts. How scary is that.
Because your thoughts make up your habits. Your habits make you.
You are your thoughts.
Too much negativity in me. Steaming from all my negative thoughts.
Vulnerable. Sensitive.
I shall confess here. This quote makes me feel guilty.
Sometimes, I am a superficial person in front of other people.
Not all the time, I promise.
Everybody's different in terms of their personality, thoughts, character.
So, depending on who they are, I'll try my best to fit to them.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. But still, it makes me ..not me.
I don't know leh. Maybe it's me. Just a different part of me?
We have to define "me" then.
Anyway, I never have bad intentions.
I guess that's what they meant by trying to fit in?
It upsets me, because it's one of the way I've changed.
Old me aren't like that. Old me was sincere all the time.
Old me find it hard to fit in anywhere. But still, old me was .. me.
Old me find it hard to express myself. Yet every words were sincere.
Old me sacrifices everything for band.
Old me only has band in mind.
Old me was willing to go the distance for band.
It upsets me too, when people can't see the real me.
And by real, I mean the insecurities.
I'm not as stable as most think. Not as emotionless as most think.
I get hurt countless times in a day. Intentional or unintentional.
Can't really take jokes.
Those hurtful jokes bother me all day.
Whether or not they really meant it or they're just jokes.
But on the surface, I'll not show any sign.
I'll just go along with it. Laugh it off.
I guess that makes me tougher..?
I can handle them better and better haha!
"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"
No matter what, I want people to see the happy me.
Happy, cheerful.
That'll make them happy too....no?
I guess no.
Nobody's always happy.
People should see the real me.
Happy or not.
Rather people hate the real you, than love the fake you.
Everybody's different. An original.
My thoughts. I don't like them.
But hiding from them, makes me fear them.
Sometimes, I just want to freaking change everything bout myself.
But it's too irrational.
Maybe possible, but that's not it.
Positive thoughts. Positive lifestyle.
Starting from my lifestyle.
Focus on the good.
My greatest takeaway from this trip will be the morning exercise for sure.
Waking up at a fixed timing every morning and leaving house at 7.45am to exercise.
After a good workout, have a hearty breakfast.
Start the day early, start the day right.
The morning is a beautiful sight.
MUST keep at it after I returned to Singapore!!!
Make it a habit. Make it part of me.
I felt so much more positive after I start this routine.
I felt like I can accomplish so much more too since the day felt so much longer.
I will give myself to what I do too. No more band for now.
But there's judo. And there's piano.
My loves.
Don't give in to all the negativity.
Put all my energy and focus on the right things.
Don't think too much too.
Simple life. Simple thoughts.
I'll be back from Malaysia on Sunday night.
One last week of holiday before school starts officially.
It didn't really have impact on me cause I'm studying part time.
Starting work at music center scares me even more.
Teaching piano...SO SCARY!
It'll be a new phase in my life.
New school. New job. Working and studying at the same time.
Writing this blog post out made me scared too.
Writing out my thoughts.
It makes me feel vulnerable.
But I guess...I'll just let this vulnerability get to me.
Just be vulnerable for once.
And we'll emerge even stronger.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Shopping makes me happy
Love this photo cause it's totally unplanned hahaha.
Morning exercise as usual with the same bunch. Didn't really exercise much today, since we were busy taking photos haha! But I promised the running gang to join them for a run tomorrow! AHHHHH.
Really not looking forward to it :'(
Had a super full breakfast after that. I almost puked!
Shopping with my mum for the whole day at Festival, Sungei wang plaza and Berjaya Times Square.
Shopping makes me very VERY happy.
Bought 7 shirts and 1 short and my mum bought 7 shirts.
Total 14 shirts, 1 short for only less than 300RM.
That's like less than S$150.
One whole day just gone like that.
With my aching legs, tired soul and strained eyes, I shall go to bed,
In preparation for a better tomorrow.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Healthy and fishes
Today's a healthy day.
Left house at 7.45am for morning exercise with the relatives.
Three fishes and two vegetables for breakfast after two hours of exercise.
Nap for whole afternoon.
Visit from my mum's cousin with 4 little kids.
Harry potter for the night.
Left house at 7.45am for morning exercise with the relatives.
Three fishes and two vegetables for breakfast after two hours of exercise.
Nap for whole afternoon.
Visit from my mum's cousin with 4 little kids.
Harry potter for the night.
That's me just up from the long nap.
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