And now's already September.
Because I just read Amelia's blog. Suddenly have the feel to blog.
But I doubt anybody's still coming here. Hahaha.
AMELIA CHOO WHY SO EMO.
Make me sad also:(
Anyway now's also in the middle of the night and I can't sleep so TADA I'M HERE.
I think I've changed too. Ever since I went into JC, I changed. It's been a really long while.
Sometimes just the thought of going to school tires me out. I don't feel like I belong there. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. The people there...I just feel sad. Maybe in secondary school I'm already emo enough. But trust me. I'm worst in JC. There's nobody I can talk to. Except for Shien, June and Sasha. I can't bring myself to be myself. I can't approach the rest. So hard. I guess when you lost the feeling of connectness for too long, you get used to it. Once in school, I feel like I just put on a mask and became another person. So when you see me in school ignoring almost everybody, it's because I'm trying to be myself. I'm trying to stop myself from being someone else. So actually that's a good thing? Haha. But I've been thinking, isn't it like this since secondary school? Isn't things like this since I start to learn how to think? I was always in my own little world. I almost always didn't let anybody in. Never be myself, never speak what I want to speak.
Now that I'm older, I start to realise, hey actually I haven't really learn how to interact with people.
But because of Shien, I never lose hope. I can't express how glad I am to have her in my life. But I don't think she'll know. Haha. I learn to express myself properly. I learn to trust. I learn that actually if I want, I can just be myself. I learn that I'm not that bad actually. Really, she keep me going.
To some extent, she understands me. And that's enough. How many people out there truly understands me HELLO? But it's okay. Because it's my fault too. I am to be blame.
I'm afraid of my own thoughts. Many times I need music just so that I won't be alone, with my own thoughts. Even now, I don't dare to truly hear myself out.
Really, I think if you want to be emo, there's no limit. But if you want to be positive, there's a limit to it.
But then, everybody has moments when they feel sad, when they has low self-esteem, when they don't know who they are themselves.
Misery breeds misery.
In the end, I believe we just have to do what we are supposed to do. Don't let our emotions get to us.
It's that simple. Just do what you have to do.
I'm ending this post! Haha. Sorry for the abrupt end!
TAKE CARE. AND LOVE YOURSELF. :)
