"Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do."

Moving steadily and slowly towards my goal,

tomorrow will be a better day.

Take charge and love yourself.

do or do not...there is no try

Today's been a rather short school day .... :D

And next Monday's a holiday, next three Mondays a holiday .... :D

HAHAHA

Remember your will. That you want to go jc then university. Cos if you lose your will you lose yourself, don't lose yourself k!

Shan Shan

That's my cousin!:D I told her I had no motivation to study and that's her reply.

Have you ever experienced a feeling where you were sitting down yet you felt like you almost jumped or jerked on your seat after hearing / looking at something.

I felt it, but it's in my heart, like doing a 360degree turn.

I felt like that's what that will make me move. Like it's what you have been waiting to hear, waiting for someone to tell you. It came as a nice advice, but it felt like a good scolding.

Never did I experienced it before. A spur. One line sentence that had great impact.

Thanks shan shan.

Everyone will die. But die without a regret. Die with a fullness feeling but not a empty feeling.

I know what to do already. I hope you do too.

My belief is my strength
My commitment is my power
My passion is my key
My dreams are my breath
Nobody can stop me

yilian:D

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

flow with the flow

Cool! I like. I just randomnly searched till him. (<3)

Had a nap. A long one. 5hours. ==

I don't know why I sleep so long too.

Jiaxin's off to Korea. Wish her luck :D

derrick(<3)

today's english oral was okay except the wait was super long.

Study hard yilian!

goodbye:D

Today's highlight? Waiting.

I rushed and I waited.
Things went well till I remembered chinese o today, so my ohsowell plan kind of destroyed. During CE we had this stress management talk which made me more stress. But I like , it's kind of biology, kind of yoga. Oh and I'm loving biology.:DI find it so helpful and so meaningful. Okay back to the talk, that guy did what we did during yoga, relax and breathe. Which made me love yoga more. I guess I'm too stressed out. So it's kind of meaningful 'cause I like to be more self aware too.And I realised I like people with soothing voice(: Chinese O went out quite well in my opinion and it ended fast. So rushed to dental appointment and I'm early 15mins waiting for the shuttle bus which should be a happy thing, but I waited. And I waited for 45min. In the middle of the street in orchard road. How nice huh. My reaction, what the. Ok so the bus uncle said he left as there's no place for him to wait, and then I found out my appointment's at 5.30 instead of 4.30 so huh?! Ok so nvm since I can go early. But found out I have to wait 10more mins because I freaking see the time wrongly.But a sincere apology from the bus driver made me feel so much better. (:
No more waiting I was hoping.
But after appointment, just whn I stepped out of the lift, the shuttle bus' s already full so I waited for another bus for 20mins. In the MRT, it's the time everyone got off from work, so it's super crowded. I was reading. And then when I looked up, a woman's breast in front of me. Then I looked left, a guy showing the armpit. Everyone seems to be towering over me so I think I shall just, look down. Made the decision to go home first, which I'm glad I did.
I'm freaking tired and I haven't changed and my bag's freaking heavy and most important, I wouldn't want to be early for yoga and wait for freaking 45mins again. Took a rest. Yoga's nice as always. But then the waiting haven't end. After yoga my mummy made the decision to visit my aunt for some stuffs, so this is the longest. 1hour30mins. I waited for 1hour30mins.Or even longer. Nice until I have nothing to say.

I told my mummy. I have nothing to say. I don't know if today's considered wasted with all the waiting or if it's fine. But oh well, I waited. But I read. Every single moment I waited, I read. I had slight headache and it persisted today. I was feeling distracted and stressed out during the afternoon. What I felt: headache and beads of perspiration kept on forming on my forehead. I really don't know for what reason.

Maybe I didn't rest well last night and that I'm still recovering from the malaysia trip. Oh! Yesterday I took "taxi" from JB home with 4other strangers. Okay, nice experience but it's taking way longer time for way more money.
How I defined a taxi. Something that can bring you home and you pay money for it.
Because dad's flaring up and saying it's not a taxi so I asked what define a taxi. The "taxi" label at the top of the car?

Thats all. I need a rest. Bye. (:

KL trip( grandfather visit)

Day 1(friday)

Arrived with mummy at 5 in the morning but we have no rooms so took a nap in the living room. Afternoon I had menses cramp oh well what a great timing. So lied on bed in the afternoon rolling around. When I'm like finally getting better, I went downstairs to find ah hu gor gor came. At first didn't recognise him, so when I'm coming down the stairs, I stared at this guy, his hair neatly combed which came down to his collar. I thought what a nice back view. So even till later I thought he's my cousin's friend just passing by. He came with his girlfriend, so I asked my mummy who's that pretty girl. Just then he asked what's my school and then turn out his gfriend's from mayflower. Wonderful. What a nice surprise. So I jumped and sat beside her and we start chatting. Figured she's same class as donovan, in cio. Ah hu gor gor's comment was "pimple lesser already hor" my comment was "we met before?!" And yes.

I guess that's day1 highlight because after this nice surprise we went to chill out at my another cousin house. Wow a cousin who's thirty years older. So I did my english hmk on the net and sneaked a short post about the new discovery. Ah hu gor gor's nice:D Fun and friendly I'm starting to miss him. I bet he's nice to talk to. He's that good I'm missing him.

Day2 (saturday)

A hot day on the street. Hotter than Singapore which at least has places to *hide*, air-conditioned places everywhere! But nah, not in KL. So we went out for considered shopping and I'm feeling so hot and more hot with my hair down and even more hot with mens I thought I'm gonna get heat stroke. So bought some stuffs during the trip(:

At night we went to a night market, bought some ear rings(:
Day2, a day out.

Day3(sunday)

Woke up and had breakfast before we packed our bags and left for the bus terminal. Every KL's farewell is the hardest and the one I hate. So we arrived at this terminal which ohmygod so gorgeous. They upgraded till like an airport I like. But anyway we stayed there for three hours as tickets are sold out. So by right I should be back by 7plus. On the bus I didn't sleep except for a short nap after studying. Other than that, I'm wide awake thinking. Thinking useless stuffs. Worrying for things excessively. I kind of reflected on my life.

Summarised, quite boring uh? But I did quite a lot of studying on the way, and my grandpa's refusing to eat or drink. Did a lot of thinking as well. Especially at night when I can't sleep. Life and deaths. I just thought all of us once on this route called "life", we're on and it feel as though all of us are standing on a thin strand of line. Anytime anywhere we may fall and it will end. It's, to me, that vulnerable.

Dear grandpa, all of us are wishing you well. We didn't give up. We won't give up. We hope you won't too. And that you will get back up. Because if even you have given up, the fight's not worth. So stay strong. I wish I could communicate with you, I wish I could understand your language. I love you.


I'm looking forward to visiting you soon. And that you must be well and healthy greeting us.

bye.

Hi I'm back. I'm exhausted, updates tomorrow. Hopefully I can still remember the details.

And as promised, I searched the 2008 year book but I can't find my future sis-in-law!TT

Me: Ah!!Handphone!!*jumps out of chair to the phone*

Me: Wah no batt alr

Mum: HAHA I thought you saying the turtles. No wonder I thinking why so full of love for them. Then you say no batt, I ohhhh *still sweeping floor*

Me: HAHAHA.

bye.

HELLO CURRENTLY IN KL.

omg shocking news!! I just realised my cousin's girlfriend is mayflower's ex student! :DDD
From 1991 batch 5H. Same class as donovan :D

We may become relatives!:D

I will get back to you by Monday for msgs and calls.

Sorry and thx.

yilian:D

Hey(:

Post fr the day, today did a lot of studying (:

Study date w Amelia after school at amk library fr 3hours,

date w EMATH textbook at home :D

At the library, we sat with a young man. In the end, all three of us fall asleep, at the same table.

It's as though it's contagious. HAHAH. But managed to study after the catnap!(:

I did a lot of thinking these few days. Yesterday had napfa, quite well done.

Love yourself, appreciate yourself. Because you are the way you are.

In this world, everyone and anyone is too similar. Everyone strives to be unique. Everyone strives to be different.

But in the end, who are the one who really stand out because they stay truthful to themselves?

Human beings are too complicated.

Like what I discussed with Lili. When someone met a downfall, and you are not that someone's bestfriend/bf/gf/family or if you simply don't love that person, you won't feel sad for that person. In fact, some are worst. They feel happy that they are not the one who is unfortunate, and then put a fake mask on their face acting as though they care for them.

Sometimes, I will rather depend on myself. I will always get suspicious if that stranger is smiling inside for my misfortune yet acting as though he/she cares..

Please, stay away from me.

But somehow, some people are worst than normal, till the point that they look pathetic. If it's the case, I rather I be in the crowd, I rather I am one of everyone.

Actually I don't care. I don't want to care.

Living in my own world is nice!

I read a nice storybook today!:D

The adults always tell the children, "forever forever, don't give up your dreams."

But why does it seem as though it is always the adults who gave up their dreams.

可能的话，你还想为这个世界做些什么？

Now I just want & hope to study hard. The wonderful feeling of studying is coming back to me:D

I believe studying makes you a better person. And that it will remove all evil thoughts and it teaches you how to really live your life :D

No matter how bad some people are in some part of the world, there's always awesome people.

Because only when there are bad, will there be good. :D

I am going back to KL to visit my grandpa tomorrow(:

Taking a break from blogging for these days.

yilian:D

I felt as though it's long since I've watched a drama. Yes, iit's something good, continue! :D

the oh

My dreams. So straightforward, yet so difficult. I guess it's me who is taking the long route, it's me who is not following by the route directions. I made it difficult. It's time for single-minded pursue. It's straightforward, so go straight all the way.
Jiayou yilian! Conquer the O!

Stay Strong

to amelia. Love love love.

feelings

2.4 , maths paper. Solving maths problem is like running 2.4.

I feel like stopping anytime, I feel like giving up. I feel frustrated.

Now I'm home, I want to sleep.

I just found out my family went internet using phone in Malaysia and the charges is 400plus SG dollar. I felt anger, felt annoyance, felt disgust. Blood is boiling. How stupid.

Old folks home visit, teacher's story, Nick Vijicic's video and todays' talk never fail to make me feel shameful of myself. To think I felt so irritated these few days because of studies, to think I always give up halfway while solving maths problem. So small, the matter.

The studying on last Sat made me feel drained even till now.

Off to a cat nap.

Jiaxin(<3)

Talks for money (=.="'!)

yilian.

EDIT: Back from YOGA:D I learnt from teacher that I have breathing problem. And yes so true.

It's so crucial to change that it affect so much. I'm lucky to know about it early:D

Hey ! Music for the whole day. (<3)

Music lessons then SWSY practice for the whole afternoon. Took MrTan's car 'cause my lessons ended late and I'm late. Very grateful to MrTan!:D FUN I LIKE. Very different feeling as to playing in secondary school band. We sight read a few new scores. It's challenging the way I like. Took Mrt back with Bee and Leehui:D Now is to make up my mind whether to join SWSY.

(the song that woke me up:D Played on radio and I am awake immediately!

if not I will be so lazy to get up. )

Okay bye!

Short post! I want save my brain cells for more useful purpose! :D

I kept on sneezing :(

Sneezing is a natural process triggered by irritation in epithelium lining of nose. It is expressed in the form of sudden expiration of breathe with some loud in some people.

I have been having weak immune system these few weeks. Ihateit.

Every morning when I'm awake and after washing up, my sneezing will start and I will break out in cold sweat, my body will feel cold. And a littlelittle thing stimulate, I will start sneezing. Grrrr....

It's never like this before. Hope to get better. :/

Anyway, good news is ever since 12noon I start studying until now!(Y) 8pm . I'm feeling tired but I'm feeling elated. Great feeling. Of course, there's short breaks for eating and computer.

Studied EMATH . BIOLOGY.

Continuing TYS !

Tomorrow off to SWSY.

Mr Tan so cute! : D Bad people bad karma, good people good karma!:D

He will definitely get the good.

One should, perform karma with nonchalance without expecting the benefits because sooner or later one shall definitely gets the fruits.

Okay bye!

PS I have to find the passion for violin. The fire. The burning sensation. I have to.

ahahah the world will be so much fun :D

Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.

I just hope

HELLO I SHALL BLOG NOW IF NOT I WILL FORGOT.

I'm eating chocolates with alcohol in it!:D

Bio SPA tomorrow, jiayou.

Slept super early yesterday (Y) 12 hours of sleep!

And I felt hungry one hour aftr recess I hope it's smth good. Oh and so you can guess how hungry I was when school finally end. But I forgot I need go for sl meeting :/ So by the time it ended, sambal fish sold out!!!!!!:( But I'm lucky to meet jiaxin so took her mum's car home!:D She came in my house! (my first friend to come in:D not that I'm what but I just don't like ppl come. But ytd I open up and welcomed her:D)

School today and afterschool bio SPA remedial. Went in late due to that super long assemblyO.O

Hope tomorrow's SPA went on smoothly. After it end, no more testtubes!

My teachers are strong mentally I want to be like them :D

Nothing to be afraid of when you are alone and when nobody cares about you because if you are not, you are stronger than any of the nobody. So stay strong! :D

Ok bye!

Dance to the music

It's been some time since I hear danse diabolique. Hearing it brings back all those wonderful memories of us practising, struggling with the running notes and seniors teaching us.

School today was fine. :/

Huayi band SYF today, best of luck !

Oh and we skipped chineseeee oh hurray!:D But ran 2.4!!!:( urgh. never in my intention to re-run!

anyway, lili paced me and I got 15.47. Great improvement.

After recess in my intention to sneak sweet drink back to class, I was caught. -.-

OM standing there catching ppl and I was called to him. Was asked to finish up the half bottle which I managed to do! O.O Oh well, I thought I could escape by "hiding".

After school had english remedial and back homeeeee!:DFINALLY.

And today I manage to control~ and didn't end up in band. Goodjob!

I am craving for the sambal fish in school!!! :( Can't eat it too often. I did once and I got sick :/

Oh well, study time! :(

Bye!

yilian:D

mayflower's 2009 SYF choice piece(<3)

EDIT: Yo, I just woke up. SYF results today, shocking. This year's standard really very high.

Just hope huayi and Mr Tan is happy with it. Be happy and satisfied. And Jurong West played same piece with us and got Bronze. :/

I love taishan!(<3)

hope mr tan now relaxed and happy after all his three schools syf over.

okay, bye!

Hey. I will stay truthful in this post.

I felt pissed, irritated. But I don't think you are even worth my anger.

You made me realise how hateful you are. Please lah, take a look at yourself, at your own attitude.

I talk nicely to you, you treat it like shit. Feel like slapping you in the face. Ok chilllllll! Not worth.

I love Mr TanXD Made me feel so happy after talking to him!

And you came-.-Seriously.

You're lucky I can't stay angry for long.

Oh and the SYF results!O.O

Mr Tan called to tell me about it:D HAHA SERIOUSLY SERVE YOU RIGHT. PLS GO AWAY.

And I went for yoga as usual:DDDI love yoga. Today stayed back for band ahhhhh must control!

I MUST REST WELL.

Have a good night sleep:D

P.S I'm fearful and paraniod. Even the slightest thing could trigger those bad memories.

yilian.

An idea just strucked me. It has been 2days since SYF, since I have stepped down. Where's my so-called "work hard after SYF"? Therefore things must not continue like that.

Commitment list:

• NO drama for this whole week.
• NO going for mayflower band more than thrice a week.
• NO staying in school after it ends.
• HAVE A NAP

oOkay I must start to commit myself. Jiayou yilian.

The Last to Defend

Hey hi hello. Nice Sunday?

Not for me. It's the usual boring and ineffective day.

I miss it. I miss the times when I'm still 13 and 14. IN BAND OF COURSE.

Definitely not in school. :/

Those were happy times. Those were times where our supposedly ex seniors was our seniors.

When we can be together with them. When there's nothing to be afraid of. When you just can't wait to join in their fun. It's really true that until our batch, the old mayflower spirit is gone.

The current sec threes joined in 2009, hmmm..zhean still there? Ah , still. yes

I don't know why it's not passed downnnnn! :( Care don't care like that. What the hell.

Forget it. We all have to move on. Even if we all know where it will end up.

POSITIVE! Stay positive! We can do it! We will make it!

People cheer upppp! It's okay it's fine even if it's screwed. Don't be angry :D

I don't like Sunday because it just shows that Monday is COMING. Damnnnn.

okay, bye.

The song that contains the best memories.

yilian:D

I want to make a wish

Happy Birthday Michelle Ong!:D

Spend almost the whole day with Michelle celebrating her bday!

I saw 11.11, and immed reaction, "i hope that mayflower band..."

EH! SYF OVER ALR!

I can't get used to not praying for SYF to get silver.

Had funnnnnn at Michelle's house(: Hope she had fun.

OH AND MUM'S BACK! :DDD Finally after dont know how many days!

Gave her a huggg<3

I'm jealous D:

I miss the past. But we can't go back to then.

If only there's something I can do...

yilian:D

you will make it to the end

A day after SYF , I just realise yuying got silver. Omg why.

Today I'm tired I hope it's normal. Since it's just after SYF and I didn't sleep early last night.

I was reprimanded by brother yesterday and okay, I got your message. I don't feel good too.

JiaXin not here, LiLi not here toooo! Urgh! Today is Friday, I can't feel it and I didn't realise.

Back to lessons ahhhhh boring! And after school had english test and SS lecture. I hadn't eaten recess and no lunch. I don't like! JiaXin faster come back!:(

After everything, I went band room for awhile, heh I must get used to it soon, and then off to amk hub for lunch with tingwei and ziyan!:D Went to get "something" too!:D Oh and I can't forget the fact that I waited lonnnggggg(to me) for shimin and amelia to come, and I sat beside old uncles who fart in the public omggggg!:(

Okay maybe our school teachers are good. I shouldn't generalise.

But at least I'm glad now I know what I want. What I HATE.

Stay STRONG!

I really know my heart no more. And I really don't like this clueless feeling. I hope I can make up my mind soon.

PS It's been near one month since I've updated my calender.

Now that I've done so, I have 199 days left to 'O' level written paper.

yilian:D

Before and after. Before(2009) as a euphonist, after(2011) as a trombonist. I really had great fun with you guys. Love ya:D

If you hadn't realised, I'm now an ex.

Had fun with you two too. Hope you guys will bring the band back to their feet and soar high!

LOOK HOW HAPPY WE ARE AFTER THE RESULT.

GOODLUCK BAND!~

2013 SYF!

SYF'S OVER ALSO MEANS THE START OF CHIONGING STUDIES. (TOMORROW!)

Dear homework, I'm sorry but you have to wait.

XD

LOVE YOU MAYFLOWER BAND. EVEN IF WE START TO BE SERIOUS AT THE LAST MIN, WE MANAGE TO MAKE IT. NOBODY SHOULD LOOK DOWN ON US. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO LOOK DOWN ON US.

SYF AND WE CONQUERED IT

omg I didn't feel any happier before.

Mayflower Secondary School....SILVER!

phew! HAHAHAHAHAHAH

OH YAY!!!!!!!!!

Finally, all my prayers worked thanks God!

Whenever I saw 11.11, I will make a wish that Mayflower band will get silver.

When I'm praying, I will pray that Mayflower band will get silver.

And just before BAND #80, I prayed that we will get silver. I imagined that person saying it first, praying that exactly same words will come out. And it did!

I'M HAPPY.

After so much , so much sufferings, so much tears, we finally make it.

Almost almost didn't make it to syf. OHYEAH.

AND YES, WE FINALLY SEE THE RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN.

Facts

We didn't have class today and practised for the whole morning.

Omg our playing was well done then. Surprising well when we were in school.

So all the confidence came back. And we set off to SCH, NOT LATE!

Nervous like shit before entering. ANYTHING may happen sia!

Especially as I listened to the band before us, I think they are good and it made me more scared.

PERFORMED.

ENDED.

I didn't think we did well. At least it's not as good as I had expected. So when I left the stage, I was feeling .... SAD, ANGRY, REGRETFUL.

And NO ONE cried except for Joevina...?

Back to school, took photos, back to SCH for results, ALMOST didn't get to go in.

But the rest who intended to join us in hearing the results didn't get to go:(

THE FREAKING BUS IS LATE.

And so, handphone live for them!:D AND THE PERSON ANNOUNCED AND THEY ALL SHOUTED.

Someone cried.

Oh and the atmosphere at SCH was scary. PEOPLE SUPER SAD PEOPLE SUPER HAPPY.

And there's this Exexexex senior I don't know who with us and he is clearly satisfied!:DDD

HAHHAH. TOOK PHOTO WITH THE MAJORS.

And we chatted HAPPILY in the taxi! HAHA!

Oh and weird things happen.

We were walkng to fnd taxi when suddenly heard SOMEONE said, "mayflower secondary school got silver" Weird is that person is an adult and they were people wearing suit and tie, outside the bank. Why are even THEY talking about it.

And when I was taking photo with junhui ,

junhui SAID HE IS TOO TALL so I hold the phone HIGHER -.-

And because I was the one holding the phone, I asked yanjia to help me see if the photo is okay before snapping.

HAHAS AND YANJIA SAY SHE CAN'T SEE THE PHOTO.

Finally, a load was being put down. Now I can move on. Now I can be truthfully happy.

SO , TIME FOR CELEBRATION! :DDD

24th silver, for the past 18years.

yilian:D

All things will come to an end. Good or bad.

2 years ago THIS IS THE DAY.

Dear yilian, do your best and take everything in your stride. After everything as long as you know you did your best, it will be okay. Stay STRONG.

Update soon with the RESULT. :D

yilian:D

Hey there. I must hang on to the very moment. Less than 48hours.

Sectional today all the way, cool and effective. My last sectional as a mcb member.

2.4 run today and I got 16.50, improved from last week's 16.52. Should I be happy.

Aww I missed yoga yesterday and mum is still not back! :(

Here, I'm whatever-ing. Yes, whatever. Hate it. You people seriously I feel like bashing you up. You will have a taste of your own medicine one day. So, please get lost fast.

Anyway, I feel my immune system is getting weak. I must NOT get sick until three days later. Please God. Peace.

yilian:D

Hey I made a trip to AMK popular I love it!:D And waited quite awhile for amelia & shimin.

I was dragged back to reality by my Dad. And I realised it's when things come once in awhile that has the most impact as compared to regular nagging. I guess I really did went overboard.

Dear Dad, sorry and thank you. Thank you for waking me up to the reality.

PS My mum is still in KL and she just called to say she's staying for one more week. Omg. 3weeks in total. The house need you!

What's your dream?

I woke up to the day and do what I think I should do.

I make decision every moment I think whats the best.

I wash up and go to sleep. And the time is always going second by second.

The day is always going the month is always going.

After so many days so many months and so many years.

What am I working for every moment ? For my dream . To go closer to it .

Or just to survive and stay alive.

I love photos I want to go overseas. But whats my point.

I want to achieve my dreams.

You see sometimes I don't get why things became like that too.

I will feel lost and I will feel helpless.

But we will make it to see the rainbow after the rain.

Mother is still in KL I miss her :( She's not here to wake me up every morning but she morning calls me :D Three days ago had 2.4 run, timing 16.52. Omg it's so torturous. 6 days left. I pray for the best dear god. Please wish us luck. I needa good rest.

Loves

yilian.