Why? Because I realise a lot. And in one day, I experienced too many different emotions.
Okay this is kind of childish. But I didn't put my birthday in facebook. I wanted to know who cares enough to wish me. Well, if they are my friends, they WILL remember my birthday. And they will BOTHER enough to wish me. With that, I now know who really bother enough.
Let me be super honest in this post.
So why do I say I experienced too many different emotions in one day?
This morning, I was just staying home, watching tv, eating, waiting for time to pass. It didn't feel like it's my birthday AT ALL. It feels like just another boring day at home. And then I got insecure. I mean, who doesn't? It's your birthday for heaven's sake. And what, watch tv day?
And I feel like Amelia's celebration is taking too long to arrive. I can't wait really. I start to overthink.
I was disappointed. OK... I was REALLY disappointed.
Some close friends of mine forgot completely about my birthday.
I was freaking disappointed.
And so, to stop myself from thinking, I played piano. BUT THEN, it didn't work. In fact, it just got worst.
I went back to the room and my brother chose that time to ask me, why am I not going out to celebrate?
SO? SO WHAT HAPPENED?
I broke down. And I started tearing. Freaking retarded.
And I just cry and cry and cry till I can't breathe. Everything. Everything just starts coming back all at once. All the pent-up emotions from the past few weeks.
After I'm finally done crying, I calmed myself down and I came to a few conclusions.
Ok. Actually I didn't. I just got more confused. Because by then, I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't understand. Is it because I didn't do enough? Is it because I didn't care enough? Is it because I didn't spend enough time? Or is it I am just not a good friend? That I don't matter to them. That I only matter THAT much to them. Okay I don't want to say anymore.
So at around 2, Sheryl finally called. And I went out to celebrate my birthday.
Amelia came to fetch me all the way to Serangoon North to get me HAMSTERS! <3 But sadly, I didn't get any because my mum forbids me VIOLENTLY. So the dejected us went back to AMK, to Michelle's house.
AMELIA CHOO LIED TO ME. And I believed her. 我上当了！
She lied to me that they didn't plan anything for me except for that hamster.
I was really really really super sad that time. My whole face changed. Plus the morning's incident, I just got really tired. So everything went according to Amelia's plan, to her great delight.
I found out only when we see Michelle. And they start to blindfold me and brought me to a place.
When I opened my eyes, I was speechless. I can't believe my eyes. All the balloons infront of me, flying to the wind. Sheryl, Amelia and Michelle smiling to me from afar. Oh my gosh.
And when I walked towards them, there's nothing I could say to tell them how touched I was. I fear that my words won't even be enough. So I started crying. Nobody had ever done so much for me.
I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO MUCH! <3<3<3
I have you guys, I feel too blessed.
Brought everything home. All the balloons. <3
And so, at 7 I went to meet TIOJIAXIN. When we met, we just hug. It's been too long. I miss her too much. My bestfriend since primary one.
We just sit down and eat and talk. There's too many things we need to talk already. SIX MONTHS WORTH OF THINGS. And she gave me a really pretty necklace. I love it! It's too pretty! <3
I'm really glad that we can still talk like how we used to. And there are things that only both of us understand. There are things that only she will know. To have her in my life, I am really fortunate.
With her, everything just comes down naturally.
I LOVE YOU JIAXIN! <3
Therefore, I can say I had a really meaningful 17th.
People who wished me happy birthday, I will love them more from now onwards.
Thank you to all those who loved me.
I am 17 now. AWESOME AGE.
HAHAHAHA
