the beginning of the end

Hey! Finally blogging again. A proper post! (Y)

I'm going to sum up my June holiday. Hah! To me it has already ended even though I still have one last week. I'm going to dedicate this last week to mugging so yup, that's the end of my holiday.

Pretty eventful holiday. <3

1st JUNE, JUNE'S birthday! :D

4th JUNE, my birthday! HAHAHA had the best one ever! <3

8th JUNE, TINGWEI'S birthday! :D

15th JUNE, SHERYL'S birthday part 1! :D

16th JUNE, SHERYL'S birthday part 2! :D

AWESOME AWESOME! All the birthday girls uhhh! June's babies! :D 

We are all 17 already yo yo yo! ~~~

Now only left with birthday of my bestestfriend! 24th JUNE! <3

Sidetrack abit, just cooked for myself instant noodles! lollol I'm super duper hungry can't express how hungry I was hahahah. Couldn't sleep. Maybe I'm finally growing nowadays I'm always hungry. : /

Anyhow, it's really delicious!! Been super long since I cooked instant noodles.

OK back to 24th June. HOW?!?? I'm like a really really bad friend. Because I'm in a dilemma. THAT DAY, is one day before my block test. And THAT DAY, is judo competition!! I want to watch it. It's like the first ever in my life.( ok abit exaggerating ) I really feel like going. And then, I just realize I still have lessons until 1plus. Which means even if I go, I will be suuuuuper late and the whole thing may have already ended. :o And then, THAT DAY, is my bestestfriend birthday.  Let's say I went to watch judo competition and I postponed her celebration because of block tests, then I'm really the worst friend ever. OK I WILL FIND A WAY. 

My June holidayyyyy~~~hmmmm feel like it ended in the blink of an eye. I really love holiday. I really really love holiday! The end of it means the start of school. And I don't want the start of school. *sulks*

School's not that bad if we are talking about June and Shien :D, and it's not that bad if we are talking about studying (YES STUDYING). But other than that, they are bad. Like what my friend once said, going to school is like going to jail. 

Who likes to go to jail? 

I want to go to USS, I want to go to judo, I want to go OUT TO PLAY. I rather plan birthdays than go back school. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against school in general. If you get what I mean ...

Anyhow, because most of my besties birthday fall in the month of June, me together with the rest have been planning and planning yo~~ I find joy in planning for birthday. Especially when the birthday girl had a good one! The satisfaction is beyond words.

And so, the first three weeks of June had been dedicated to birthdays. WHICH MEANS, I neglected my studies! Really neglected it. My pace was like a turtle's. After everything ended, I started paying attention to school work. And I found the way where I work best, I was OVER THE MOON. Hehehe because woah, in just a few days, I completed so much. I am still feeling worried I may flunk everything, but I gained more faith!(: 

My block test results, if things stay the way they are now, my prediction is that I will flunk econs. HIGH possibility. Most worried about econs now. And the languages! Haven't touched them. 

I'm left with three days and I'm going all out. 

I believe if you put your mind to what you are doing, you will achieve what you want!(:

This song suddenly came to my mind. Btw, I love this girl! :D

Will be back after block tests. 

AND, I will, with courage, post up my results. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!! 

Wish me luck! <3 

favourite song

My current favourite song! Love the beginning!! :D

night blogging

Hi, I'm blogging now to tell you that I can't fall asleep. And I'm hungry. Now's like going 3am. And I'm still wide awake. Why? Why why why?! My mind now, real busy. Thoughts coming in and out. OK. I'm overthinking again!! Yet again!

Backspaced whatever that I've typed. Seriously, how to express my thoughts. Am I the only one who have difficulty in expressing myself?

其实你没有那么爱他

你有权力情绪化， 你不一定要坚强

但有些事情不能伪装，别为自己设了框

我懂失去的悲伤，也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望，又何必要放不下

是习惯，还是爱
不放心，还是不甘心，只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他。

你失踪的爱

Don't want to emo. Don't like to emo. But I need a place to vent my emotions !!! Sigh....Ok I'm better now.

keep loving

Here 's how my day goes. Went out with the woman over there. Original plan was to catch a movie. But we have no enough money. So end up finding a place and just sit and talk. Had KOI, thumbs up for green tea macchiato! Oh ya. The dumb me forgot to bring out wallet. And so I got no keys to go home. And so I ended up below the void deck, no place to go. But thank God it's around the time my mum knocks off. Ok then rushed off to judo. I realise I still got some time to spare, so went to buy some stuffs at hub hahahaha. Had grading for judo and if nothing goes wrong, I' m going to upgrade to yellow belt!! :D After judo, went for dinner with weiyang and kweeswee before heading home! (: Every Tuesday before judo Im a nervous kid. After judo Im a happy kid. I'm nervous because I worry that I may not do well. And I can't meet the demands in the class. Ok actually I don't really know why. I will just naturally get nervous. Happy kid because it's too much fun! ^^ Ok have to sleep. Even though I doubt I can fall asleep. At times don't get too serious. Just have fun!

17

Hi people, okay I'm going to blog about my birthday. Yes! Yesterday was my birthday. My 17th. It is by far the best I have ever had. It's weird though. I didn't receive any present other than Jiaxin's necklace and my mum's angbao unlike previous years. I didn't receive any cards too. However, it's a good one.

Why? Because I realise a lot. And in one day, I experienced too many different emotions.

Okay this is kind of childish. But I didn't put my birthday in facebook. I wanted to know who cares enough to wish me. Well, if they are my friends, they WILL remember my birthday. And they will BOTHER enough to wish me. With that, I now know who really bother enough.

Let me be super honest in this post.

So why do I say I experienced too many different emotions in one day?
This morning, I was just staying home, watching tv, eating, waiting for time to pass. It didn't feel like it's my birthday AT ALL. It feels like just another boring day at home. And then I got insecure. I mean, who doesn't? It's your birthday for heaven's sake. And what, watch tv day?

And I feel like Amelia's celebration is taking too long to arrive. I can't wait really. I start to overthink.

I was disappointed. OK... I was REALLY disappointed.
Some close friends of mine forgot completely about my birthday.
I was freaking disappointed.
And so, to stop myself from thinking, I played piano. BUT THEN, it didn't work. In fact, it just got worst.

I went back to the room and my brother chose that time to ask me, why am I not going out to celebrate?
SO? SO WHAT HAPPENED?
I broke down. And I started tearing. Freaking retarded.

And I just cry and cry and cry till I can't breathe. Everything. Everything just starts coming back all at once. All the pent-up emotions from the past few weeks.

After I'm finally done crying, I calmed myself down and I came to a few conclusions.
Ok. Actually I didn't. I just got more confused. Because by then, I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't understand. Is it because I didn't do enough? Is it because I didn't care enough? Is it because I didn't spend enough time? Or is it I am just not a good friend? That I don't matter to them. That I only matter THAT much to them. Okay I don't want to say anymore.

So at around 2, Sheryl finally called. And I went out to celebrate my birthday.

Amelia came to fetch me all the way to Serangoon North to get me HAMSTERS! <3 But sadly, I didn't get any because my mum forbids me VIOLENTLY. So the dejected us went back to AMK, to Michelle's house.

AMELIA CHOO LIED TO ME. And I believed her. 我上当了！
She lied to me that they didn't plan anything for me except for that hamster.
I was really really really super sad that time. My whole face changed. Plus the morning's incident, I just got really tired. So everything went according to Amelia's plan, to her great delight.

I found out only when we see Michelle. And they start to blindfold me and brought me to a place.

When I opened my eyes, I was speechless. I can't believe my eyes. All the balloons infront of me, flying to the wind. Sheryl, Amelia and Michelle smiling to me from afar. Oh my gosh.

And when I walked towards them, there's nothing I could say to tell them how touched I was. I fear that my words won't even be enough. So I started crying. Nobody had ever done so much for me.
I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO MUCH! <3<3<3

I have you guys, I feel too blessed.

Brought everything home. All the balloons. <3

And so, at 7 I went to meet TIOJIAXIN. When we met, we just hug. It's been too long. I miss her too much. My bestfriend since primary one.

We just sit down and eat and talk. There's too many things we need to talk already. SIX MONTHS WORTH OF THINGS. And she gave me a really pretty necklace. I love it! It's too pretty! <3

I'm really glad that we can still talk like how we used to. And there are things that only both of us understand. There are things that only she will know. To have her in my life, I am really fortunate.
With her, everything just comes down naturally.
I LOVE YOU JIAXIN! <3

Therefore, I can say I had a really meaningful 17th.

People who wished me happy birthday, I will love them more from now onwards.

Thank you to all those who loved me.

I am 17 now. AWESOME AGE.

HAHAHAHA

a new beginning

From today onwards, I will start to live my own life. And I will make sure to live it to the fullest. You will no longer have a place in my mind and in my heart. I will move on. And you will be a nobody in my life from now onwards. The memories that we shared, it will stay in the past forever. A lesson learnt.

1st June

June's 17th birthday <3

Hi, it's the month of June already people! The month that is loved by many and the month of joyyyy! My month! *wink*

Today marks the start of my June holiday too. My school was having an extra week of lesson and this extra week of lesson was really torturous. I'm really glad that it's over I'm jumping for joy now! 

Well, this whole week has been full of ups and downs. As for school, I don't think I can find any ups.
Out of five days, I think I was punctual for only one day. PRO RIGHT.

Everyday, I feel like I'm preparing for a marathon.

Ran and ran and ran.

But of course, I am able to survive school so far thanks to my beloved girlfriends and my classmates.
They were there for me when I feel so lost. When I feel so messed up. When I feel so screwed.

I have a bad habit of judging people I see. But after this eventful week, I realise that I'm so wrong. Take my classmates for example. I used to judge some of my classmates who I'm not familiar with. But after really interacting with them, I realise they are all really nice people.

"Never judge anyone because you never know how their life is and as to what is happening or what they're going through"

On Tuesday I had judo lesson again and I was really happy. Really really exhilarated. I think it's the only time when I will feel really happy. You know, a few hours after the lesson, I was still feeling really exhilarated.

And then I talked to my senior, which made me feel really inspired.

On Thursday, I went to buy June's present with Shien. We walked around Causeway point for hours till we were really exhausted. Oh! And we bought a big balloon for her and I was responsible for bringing it home. So imagine how I walked on the street and everybody stared at me. Omggggg super super super paiseh!! They all thought that I am the birthday girl! And some even exchanged some comments about the balloon and there were kids shouting after the balloon!

But it was a cool experience. My skin became thicker after that experience! HAHAH.

So we planned everything out to surprise June today. In the end, I think we were the one who got surprised! June was so touched that she cried and we were so surprised omggg. But she enjoyed her day which I'm really glad.

This week I really got a lot of new experiences. First time I skip a lecture. First time I skip a tutorial lesson. First time I got kicked out of a class, alone. First time I carry a large balloon around with me on the street. First time I give someone big balloon for birthday. First time someone touched till cry because of something I do for her.

All the first times, good or bad, they were really great experiences. Not that I dare to get kicked out of class again lahhhhh.

Today we all got back our progress report for the 1st term.

So I'm going to end this post with my CA results:

Chinese language B

General Paper U

Mathematics E

Biology C

Chemistry C

Economics E 

Yeah, I'm not satisfied with my results. But I can't complain anything. I didn't put in enough effort, I get the result I deserve.
"You reap what you sow"

June holiday is here. It's time to make up for all the effort I haven't been putting in. 

I will make sure I do well for the block test that is immediately after June holiday. 

Bye lovely! Enjoy your holiday! ~~

I'm having the feel to blog!