if you think i am good enough

The time when I was in pulau ketam. It's ice cream! But it's too sweet for my liking.

Just some update with my life. It's not long since I got back from pulau ketam. I missed it. During my time there, I felt .. alone. Freezing cold. Not because of the weather, but because of the people there. I mean, they are all nice! But I'm not close to them.

But I still do miss it. If I have a choice, which I have, I will choose to stay longer. Maybe I am insane because there's practically nothing to do there, but I like their way of life.

Slow, peaceful, down-to-earth.

After I am back to Singapore, I went working, I read a lot, I went down to yishun jc and I went to a temple with my mum.

Pretty mundane.

Mind blank.

OK. I'm going to put in some effort to this post!

Next Monday, we will be receiving the long-awaited SMS from MOE, indicating the school we are sent to. And if I got into yishun, I have to report to school on Tuesday, which is THE NEXT DAY.

I am pretty nervous. NO. I am VERY nervous. Very dumb. But I am really really nervous.

I don't know if I am ready for it. Ready for the new school. New friends. New environment.

Starting on a clean slip of paper, I am not sure I will do a good job.

OK let's change the subject. Facebook. Open to all users regardless of age. My uncle just added me as friend and I couldn't recognise who that person is and I thought he is my AUNT so I added him as my aunt. Dumb. But in the end we kind of chat on facebook and I apologised. Well, I am still shocked that he will be so active on facebook. It's amazing. Very cool. Now, we don't have to travel and we can stay in contact. Whoever you want. With your niece your nephew your aunt your uncle or even your grandma! OK I'm exaggerating a bit here.

You know, I'm bored of the songs on my phone!! It's nobody fault and I don't know what I should do. Because I no longer can stand the silence so I played the music from my phone. All the songs. Again and again. Got new songs, got bored soon. So it's really boring! Most of the time I just play it without really listening to it.

Why am I not sleeping yet? It's 2.24 now! But yes, I'm not. Sleeping late is a habit. A bad one. An awful one.

But I am going to off my com soon.

Bye people!

I just want to be myself. Why is it so hard. I don't care a shit about others. Yet I do. Some people look down on me. Some people insult me. But I'm just being the nice girl there and smile back. I should be going after them. I should do more for myself. Yet sometimes, I'm indifferent. I'm nonchalant.

I just want to be myself.

Think in different perspectives

The moment I stepped into pulau ketam, all the fond memories came flooding back. The place where my mummy grew up in. The place where I frequently went to when I'm a child or even when I'm still a little baby. It's been years since my mummy and I came here, but it feels like decades since we were here.

We took a boat here and it's ton of fun!! Mummy and me were out of our mind because we were busy taking photos even though anytime we may be blown away into the big ocean! So we were struggling to hold on to whatever things were there while holding our phones taking photos.

Actually, I am blogging now because I got wifi connection but I got nothing to do. :-X Hah!

Saturday I was in KL at Gran's. Read Eclipse and also some Jc stuffs to keep myself busy.

Then got down to pulau ketam and we are planning to stay here till Tues.

Think in different perspectives and things may not be as complicated as you once thought.

If you could turn the clock back

Went down to Jiaxin's mum's hair salon and had a hair cut plus rebound! :D Jiaxin waited with me for two hours before leaving for work.

After straightening and cutting my hair, it feels weird... and weird.

It looks weird too. But Jiaxin says that it's normal that it looks weird. Okay......

Headed home for a short rest before going back to mayflower with TingWei.

Stayed in the band room.

Well, suddenly, I feel like playing in the band again. I want to be part of the group. I want to produce beautiful music with the rest. You will only realize how impt something is till you lose it. I really hope the current members will cherish the time they have in band and enjoy too!

I have been thinking, if only my standard now is where HowJin's standard is. He improved tremendously. I like his tone.

If only.

Yesterday's really eventful. I don't blog about it doesn't mean it didn't matter.

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

13/1

Went down to Temasek poly. Amelia's, hopefully, future school!

Running late for my dental appointment but we still went for our lunch at tp! The food there was cheap! COOL. We had spaghetti! Yumyum.

Okay so, I was late for my appointment. From Tampines to Orchard. Rushed like a crazy woman. 45minutes I was late but in the end the dentist there actually wanted me to come later which means I panic for nothing. There's such thing called handphone in this world but it will be useless if you got the wrong hp number!

14/1

A very eventful day.

Jogging with AMELIA in the late morning. We were at this place. Pretty good because it's windy and I think I can sit there for hours just enjoying the peace. Ran 5rounds!

And then rushed to join JIAXIN for a k session!

Jiaxin's avoiding the camera!

Our session lasted for 4hours for only 6bucks!:D We were pretty lucky because we met a nice guy. He helped us extend the timing from 3hours to 4hours! He got us extra potato chip too!

This time's kbox session feels different from the usual. We finished singing the songs we want before the session ended. Which is very rare because every time when we were leaving we just feel like we haven't finish singing! Very enjoyable four hours.

Visited my cousin's house after the kbox session.

Stayed for dinner. Yay! Free yumyum dinner!

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

And now I can only wait

I submitted my JAE form. Made my choices. Even till now, I hope I have no regrets.

1. YJC Science
2. NYP Business Management
3. SP International Business
4. TP Law and Management
5. NYP Banking and Financial Services
6. SP Tourism and Resort Management
7. NP Tourism and Resort Management
8.NP Business Studies
9. SP Banking and Financial Services
10. TP Hospitality and Tourism Management
11. NYP Hospitality and Tourism Management
12. YJC Arts

And I don't know if I really want the first choice.
What if I can't get into my first choice? What if I got into my first choice?
Both questions are scary enough.

I can't make up my mind.

Today had been a home-day. Alone in the house. Listening to songs. Reading. Doing personality quiz. Thinking.

蝸牛

小蝸牛問媽媽：為什麼我們從生下來，就要背 負這個又硬又重的殼呢？

媽媽：因為我們的身體沒有骨骼的支撐，只能爬，又爬不快。所以要這個殼的保護！

小蝸牛：毛蟲姊姊沒有骨頭，也爬不快，為什麼她卻不用背這個又硬又重的殼呢？

媽媽：因為毛蟲姊姊能變成蝴蝶，天空會保護她啊。

小蝸牛：可是蚯蚓弟弟也沒骨頭爬不快，也不會變成蝴蝶他什麼不背這個又硬又重的殼呢？

媽媽：因為蚯蚓弟弟會鑽土, 大地會保護他啊。

小蝸牛哭了起來：我們好可憐，天空不保護， 大地也不保護。

蝸牛媽媽安慰他：所以我們有殼啊！我們不靠天，也不靠地，我們靠自己。

we were in the north

Together with Amelia and Tingwei, we set off for Anderson jc and then took shuttle bus to Serangoon jc before goin to Yishun jc. Last but not least, together with Jiaxin, we were at nanyang poly. I got short attention span. First, I'll feel bored. Then, I'll start to yawn. To end it off, I will take a bus or maybe a cab back to my own world! ~~

Ok so, I was at Ajc for fun. Serangoon jc *shakes head*. Yishun jc was kinda ok. I didn't have any negative feeling for it or anything. Nyp as usual, was positive.

Home now and more or less, I know what I'll choose. Two more days to think about it and tada~ I will submit my form and await where fate brings me.


Today is quite productive. We were everywhere in such a short time.

Sensitive. To the wrong things.

I don't wanna you

A trip down to nanyang poly again for consultation. Met with one of the lecturers there and wow I was almost convinced. He's so good at talking. And he make so much sense. After the consultation, I'm going to put business management as one of my 12choices. But not going to put it as my first choice.

Then, paid a visit to Amelia Ham's house ! :) Her house has pretty structure, not too big or too small. Just a lil too many things. (: We looked through the diary and then looked through her photos when she's a child. SHE WAS SO CUTE!:D So adorable! I want to meet the young Amelia too!:D I only got to meet the ama amelia!

Walked to judo then. Judo was fun (:

If I can, I wanna escape from my result forever. But that's not what I can do.
So instead, I will learn to slowly accept it and then one day, I will be able to tell people without fear my score.

But then, the thing is, people think my result is ok! The lecturer also said that it's alright! Is it me thinking too much?:O

Going down to th open house tmrw. I'm going to make my choices wisely.

Don't treat me so nice.
I don't know how to return your kindness.

results

If you ask me whether I'm satisfied with my O level results, I'll say no. Cried a little. Even though I've been preparing myself for almost 2months, in the end, I still experience the feeling I dread. Disappointment.
They say if you have no expectation, you will have no disappointment. But this me cannot stop this idiotic me from having expectations.

Now is the time to make life-changing decisions. No matter what people say, when the time comes, I will be the one to make my choices.

Haven't been blogging since awhile ago because I'm lazy!

I am frightened by the thoughts of leaving my secondary school friends. I remember how I was crying to myself two years ago because I am afraid that after secondary school life, I may stop contacting Jiaxin.

Because when you ask around, your beloved friends tell you where they like to go, it's different from where you would like to go.

Going Amelia's house tomorrow!:D Wee~ finally!!

Take care. Don't be sad too long. Because I won't be. (:

Lost lost ah lost

Pray

Who can fill the void in my heart. Hate this feeling X1000.

I'm back.

But first let me let the reality sink in.

I MISS YOU GUYS! YES AMELIA CHOO! I have the same feeling as you! So many I want to sms or contact you guys but then realise I couldn't!!

Ok bye!