Update

Update update!! :D

Most recent news: I got back my promo results. I believe everyone knows about it already though. HAHA. That day was really an important day. Many many J2 seniors msged me to ask me about my results too. It was...weird. Like at first when a few asked me I was happy to tell them because I feel like I'm CARED. HEHE. But soon when more come asking me I start to feel weird. HAHA. Like WA so many cared! (or issit just curious...) hah!

So holiday today. We went out to celebrate Amelia and Shimin's belated birthday. SO SORRY! :( I feel like it's damn fail. In the end it really feel like an ordinary day :( Which I dread the most. But still, *shout out to Amelia and Shimin* , you know we love you right!!! Even though I think we didn't manage to show our love, I'm telling you that that's how we feel!! INSERT HEARTSHAPE.

And I'm really really really a coward. *sincere* I'm afraid to meet people (except for some of course) and I'm missing all the social gatherings and such. As of now, I just don't like to attend such events. Me a shyyy girl!
SO, EVEN THOUGH TODAY HAS BUFFET OR SHOPPING INVITATIONS, I REJECTED ALL. :(

But don't worry people, I'm working on my shyness already. Haha! Soon, very very soon, I will go out and PARTY!

I'm going out with my mum to watch movie now though. Heheh. I'm PERFECTLY fine with my mum :D

OK got to go and get ready now! BYEBYE.

PS Still have school until 23rd November! Jiaxin's school already holiday! :(
PSS To Shimin: We should talk more and hang out together more often!! :D

Promoted

Hey people, Yilian's back! :D

Today I got back all my results.

For my promos,

General Paper C

Mathematics A

Biology C

Chemistry D

Economics E

Chinese B

Overall,

General Paper C

Mathematics A

Biology C

Chemistry C

Economics E

Chinese B

It's been long since I got decent grades. I'm really grateful. I believe it is the blessing of God. I feel happy. And it is the kind that comes from within my heart. Peacefulness I guess.

I'm lucky that I woke up in time too.

However, I do have classmates who are not as lucky. My heart goes out to them. I really hope that they will not give up. Continue fighting! Continue having faith!

Just now, my civics tutor was really inspiring. After the release of results, a bunch of us went to look for him to talk. And he told us to work really hard starting from next year for the As. So I told him that I will work hard and that I will start working hard from NOW on.

My civics tutor actually turned to me and looked me in the eyes.
Then, he tells me that he believe in me. I was both surprised and touched.

I will work hard and do well! Thank you God. Thank you everyone who gave me well wishes!

My 30 days challenge

Judo

3/11/2012-2/12/2012

mutual respect

I respect myself for who I am and I love myself for who I am. If I don't respect myself, how do I expect the others to respect me?

Good news number 1: CHINESE 'A' LEVEL IS OVER!
Good news number 2: PW WR IS OVER!

Time to open champagne and PARTY! Wooosh! :D

When I grow up...

When I grow up, I want to be someone who is useful to the society. I want to graduate and find a stable job fast so that I can support my family. Able to provide for them, able to raise their standard of living.
Maybe I'll end up in some office working 9 to 5. OK hopefully not. What I want is to do something that I love and that it can also provide me with a stable income.

After I achieved what I want, I want to travel around the world.

Pastamania

HI PEOPLE! I have two good news! :D First, my promotional exams are over!! Second, my braces are off already!!! Be happy for me alright!! :D Today met up with this woman named ChongShiEn for lunch at pastamania! :D This woman don't like me to take her photos but she likes to spam other people's photo! ><

Ajisen

Last Sunday finally met up with my 10years long bestfriend Jiaxin. We dined at Ajisen at amk hub before sitting down somewhere else for more catching up! Haven't seen her for at least 4 months already. I remember before we went our separate ways, we are always together. The memories we have together goes all the way back to when we are 7. I'm really glad to have her as my best friend. Because good friends are hard to come by. Even though we are now studying in different schools, I believe our friendship will last forever and ever. And when we have time, we can ask each other out to catch up again and keep our friendship going! :D Quoted from jiaxin: Live our lives as a teenager to the fullest now. 不要让青春留白。

zero degree

Hellooo. How's your weekend? No more weekend for me luh. Now's all muggin days. 24/7 mug. I want to do well for promos. Anyway I'm really really glad that gp and chinese are over first. Now I have 24days to concentrate solely on the other 4 subjects. But, I'm....feeling this immense sadness. Because I won't be going judo for months. I feel ... sad :( . Sighs. It's ok. Nevermind. I have to priorities anyway. It's good to take a break too. Byebye! (:

self-pity

 "Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality"

Think I've been wallowing in self-pity for too long. Feels so tiring. The more I think about the situation, the worst it gets. Don't know since when I've been like this. Have this feeling of losing my ground on the earth.

Maybe I really think too much and engage in too much self-talk. 

I'm already close to the age of adulthood, but still feel like an immature kid. Very dependent on people. How to survive in the real world?

But then, quoted from Amelia's blog:

 "I'm tired for now so I'm thankful for holidays. I can wallow in my self-misery until I gain courage to put those feelings aside or at least try to control them. I'm tired of fighting against them."

Totally agree. No more going to school. No more meeting of people. Finally, I can have time for myself for the week. 

Please please, I want to focus on my studies already!! Have to focus on my studies already. 

Anyway, today, I went for judo training. And you know what? I think my braces broke! :( First time in training, and also just before the due date to take them out! It's during randori and it got stuck to Vincent's gi. I think I'm so good at managing the crisis that nobody knew I broke it. Even Vincent didn't realise. I just panicked awhile and then try my best to get them out. 

But still, I guess I'm too skilled for this kind of situations already. In case you don't know, a lot of emergencies happened to me before. But almost every single time, I solved it myself. Even if my friends are with me. My first reaction is to think about what I can do calmly, and then just try it. For instance, one day I was out with all my close friends and we were all happily sitting down. But then all of a sudden, one of my slippers broke. And it broke so thoroughly that I know I can't wear or walk with it anymore. And we still have plans later on. So I just stare at them and think of what I can do. It's really weird. I didn't thought of asking my friends who are sitting OPPOSITE me and BESIDE me for help. Even when I don't know what to do already. I didn't want to ask them for help. I didn't want to tell them too. I think this is just me. I don't want to trouble people and also I don't know how to ask for help. I think it's something good and also bad at the same time. All these experiences train me to be tougher. I guess that's one of my good point, always calm during crisis. But it's also something bad. Because it makes me tired. Sometimes I just wanna rely on someone, on the people around me. Whenever I try to solve things on my own and not ask for help, I will feel like I'm alone too. 

Ok I'm stopping here. I want to sleep already! And I'm going to enjoy my holidays!! Feel happy for me yo!~ :D:D:D

BYEBYE. 

PS Don't worry I'm not always an emo girl! :)

It's been a long while.
And now's already September.

Because I just read Amelia's blog. Suddenly have the feel to blog.
But I doubt anybody's still coming here. Hahaha.
 
AMELIA CHOO WHY SO EMO.
Make me sad also:(
Anyway now's also in the middle of the night and I can't sleep so TADA I'M HERE.

I think I've changed too. Ever since I went into JC, I changed. It's been a really long while.
Sometimes just the thought of going to school tires me out. I don't feel like I belong there. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. The people there...I just feel sad. Maybe in secondary school I'm already emo enough. But trust me. I'm worst in JC. There's nobody I can talk to. Except for Shien, June and Sasha. I can't bring myself to be myself. I can't approach the rest. So hard. I guess when you lost the feeling of connectness for too long, you get used to it. Once in school, I feel like I just put on a mask and became another person. So when you see me in school ignoring almost everybody, it's because I'm trying to be myself. I'm trying to stop myself from being someone else. So actually that's a good thing? Haha. But I've been thinking, isn't it like this since secondary school? Isn't things like this since I start to learn how to think? I was always in my own little world. I almost always didn't let anybody in. Never be myself, never speak what I want to speak.
Now that I'm older, I start to realise, hey actually I haven't really learn how to interact with people.

But because of Shien, I never lose hope. I can't express how glad I am to have her in my life. But I don't think she'll know. Haha. I learn to express myself properly. I learn to trust. I learn that actually if I want, I can just be myself. I learn that I'm not that bad actually. Really, she keep me going.  

To some extent, she understands me. And that's enough. How many people out there truly understands me HELLO? But it's okay. Because it's my fault too. I am to be blame.

I'm afraid of my own thoughts. Many times I need music just so that I won't be alone, with my own thoughts. Even now, I don't dare to truly hear myself out.

Really, I think if you want to be emo, there's no limit. But if you want to be positive, there's a limit to it.
But then, everybody has moments when they feel sad, when they has low self-esteem, when they don't know who they are themselves.
Misery breeds misery.

In the end, I believe we just have to do what we are supposed to do. Don't let our emotions get to us.
It's that simple. Just do what you have to do.

I'm ending this post! Haha. Sorry for the abrupt end!

 TAKE CARE. AND LOVE YOURSELF. :)

Cause even the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the earth~

93 million miles

Just know, wherever you go, you can always come home! (: 

dance

Hi! :) Wish you are doing well! :)

Recently, I joined the Canberra cheerleading team in school! I am surprised I can get this far. At start, I was doubtful if I can do well. Because in cheerleading you have to be high and sociable and all. You have to dance as well. Hahaha. I sucks at dancing! However, after all the trainings, I am really happy I made it this far. We included stunts and all like climbing on other people etc. Cheerleading's really cool! I am so glad I decide to be part of the team. It is one of the right decisions I had made! <3

Also, the Canberra spirit is really awesome. We are having intensive training now for the Kings Of Street next Wed! Hope we can get champion!:D

There are people who I haven't been speaking to for quite some time and I find myself missing them. There are people who I really like too. And I find myself so lucky to have met them in my life. Hehe being thankful to the awesomeness of life now. Some of the people I know are having a hard time in life now. I really hope they will stay strong and find the strength from within.

Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing with my life. I mean, I am blessed with life but I'm always wasting it away. I am not stretching myself to the fullest potential. There are people who are really working hard with their life, trying to earn a living or just struggling to survive. But I'm not giving my best. Yilian, jiayou!! Anyway, here's my mid year results. Two sub-pass, two Ds, one E, one B.

take care! (:

smile again because the world is still beautiful

If I have a choice, I will want to have this power to cheer someone up almost instantly. To make the people around me happy.

One of the best thing in the world, is you love me and I love you. When there is true love. You found someone you can't live without and he/she found you who he/she can't live without.

爱你

Hi.
Hope you are doing well these days. :)

I'm just going to do a simple post today. My exam is over but I'm having my "A" level chinese oral tomorrow. Once I was thinking, there's no time when I can be free of worry luh.  After block test I was hoping for a rest/break and to stop worrrying about things, but no. Very hard. I guess I have to get used to it. 认清事实. It's all in the mind anyway. Choose to enjoy everything and just relax. :)

This Friday had a heart-to-heart talk with Sasha and got to know a lot more about her.
Also had kind of an emotional talk with Shien before heading home. Shed some tears.

Let's all be strong okay? :) I don't mind getting any obstacles in life anymore. Eventually they are the things that teaches us a lesson and make us stronger than before isn't it? So let's embrace them with open arms!

I feel like life is a constant battle. Sometimes it's really torturous.

Have to reconnect with all my beloved friends soon. And I'm thinking of getting myself a mp3 player! Haha!
Oh ya! I've been bringing lunchboxes to school! Really cool and awesome I tell you. My mum cooked every morning for me to have it in school. And I'm eating more now. And more healthily too! Hehe.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! :D