My mum is finally home! Cool!

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

It's 11.45am now. 2hours ago I just finished my Chem paper. Speaking of it, it was terribly done. I finished it like super duper early. So I just stare , sleep , think . I didn't do much with the already terrible state. Oh! I was planning for my life after O! I wrote the draft on the paper about what to do after O during that 2months. Super excited about it. But of course, I erased it.

Just 1 hour before, I "lost" my wallet. So I went everywhere, I walked around the whole school repeatedly and asked around. My Dad was with me. His first reaction when he heard I lost it was, scold. My Dad is those always think of the worst case senario type of people. But I'm the opposite.

Anyway, so after a fruitless search, we went home. Home is my last chance. It's either there, or not. In the end, my wallet was lying at my study table. So in the end, that 1hour search was for nothing. Now I'm super tired because my adrenaline was pumping hard just now. My head was hurting when I'm searching for it. My Dad's head hurt too.

I felt like I was more nervous when I lost my wallet as compared to taking the Chem paper.

I really hate this kind of situation where you lost something. It happen to me frequently.

背对背拥抱

because now we are clever, my Dad and I took all the important things out of my wallet and print it.

and my Dad says paste them 背对背。我们背对背拥抱。。。。

Update maybe lateeerrr. I'm gonna take a rest first. I'm abit naggy :x

EDIT: I'm backkkk!

Someone just asked me so how is your grandpa? Better already?

I just laughed it off, hahas, he passed away last week. Hahas it still trigger my emotions.

I still haven't get over it.

I miss him.

EDIT: I'M ALWAYS SLEEPING =( Just up from a nap.....

Yoooooooooo! Mathsmathsmaths.

What can I say? The worst part is getting back the results.

My results I'm pretty sure it's not pretty. In fact none of it will be.

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

Look into someone's eyes and smile.

Listen to your friend with great interest.

Laugh out loud when it's funny.

And simply enjoy yourself.

Can you sense my sincerity?

Because everything is going to be alright.

I CAN TOTALLY FEEL THE HEAT. OHMY.

Hopes to score well for tomorrow's paper!

If it takes me forever to show how much I love you, I will use it.

I think all of us have wasted too many opportunity to show how much we cared.

Love don't come easy, love won't be there for you if you don't search for it.

This trip back to KL I made a lot of realisation. Everyone has their vulnerable side.

It sure did touches my vulnerable side I swore I could cry.

I thought a lot and I think I came up with the answers.

This trip has made me seen the other side of my Dad.

I'm really proud of him.

My Dad had insisted we go home the next day to focus on my studies and for my brother to go for volleyball training for the coming tournament.

But we had tried to persuade him and I had said I wanted to stay to send my grandpa off.

In the end, I think it's because of my mum, he stayed. Due to some reasons, he is the only representing son-in-law. He have to do quite a lot of stuffs.

I can see that even if his body couldn't take it, he perservered and did a good job.

I have to admit, I was furious at him because I might be able to see grandpa for the last time, but he insisted I stayed to study.

But now to think of it, it's because he cared for me.

I love you Dad.

This three days trip, we did alot of prayers for grandpa and we have to stayed up late and wake up early.

There was alot of relatives and friends.

Almost all the relatives were there.

But I can't help but suspect, who is the one who's heart really go out to my grandpa who was lying inside, in the coffin. Who really cried for him, who really cried for this loss.

It was perfectly right when it said, "when you want to know who really cared for you, it's during your funeral, who was there, crying because you are gone."

The worst part was to walk up to the coffin for the first time and see for yourself.

Grandpa is really gone.

During the whole funeral, I still can't accept it.

But we all have to move on.

Yesterday night when I came back, I cried hard. It's not because I still can't accept that I had lost my grandpa forever. It's because I really can't take how loveless this world is. I used to believe everything everyone said. I used to think everyone is good. But the reality hit hard.

There are just people who are fake.

So I went to bed. And I promised myself, I must do all I can, to show how much I care, to show how much I love. Even though I don't know how, but I will find my way there, I will figure it.

There are too many less fortunate in the world. I am already very fortunate.

Rest in peace grandpa. I love you.

I'm back. Thanks guys for all the care you shown, I'm really thankful.

Love you.

Ha ha ha.

History paper today. I screwed up the essay. It's the most miserable paper I ever took.

I'm sorry. But I will use my brain to think instead of emotions.

Yesterday, 5May, my ahgong passed away.

After english paper, I went home to rest. When I'm studying POA, my mum called from KL,

she says ahgong is in critical condition, he was having difficulty breathing and the doctor says he may not survive today. She wanted me to go there asap and ask teacher for excuse.

After the call, I had an urge to run to school to find MrChng.

But I fight with myself. SIT DOWN AND STUDY.

I will never forget that moment I'm still studying P/L Appropriation.

So I called my Dad. I told him about it. The first thing he said was, study. What if nothing happened. But all I thought was, WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED.

I know, you want me to study. I know, studying is important.

But I almost burst out crying.

So I went for POA paper and it went out well.

At night, I msged my mum to ask about ahgong.

She replied. Gone.

Just that word. Signify everything.

I held the msg for Dad and brother to see. First thing Dad said, go and study.

Yes yes yes. I will study.

So that moment, I sat down, and I studied history. But nothing was going in my head

and tears were falling. But I think it's studying that has kept me sane.

Everything was going through my head. Is SA1 that important I missed seeing my ahgong. I could have been there.

Study study and study. I have two choice, study harder because it cost me seeing my ahgong

or give up to my emotions.

Today. I went for history paper. And I screwed it. I realised something.

If you smile, you won't cry. So I smiled. I chat with LiLi. I looked around, sometimes you never knew. When someone appear perfectly normal, maybe inside they are breaking.

I wonder if anyone was experiencing the same thing I was experiencing, and I realised for everyone else, life just goes on.

The paper ended. But all I thought was, I'm sorry ahgong.

Now I'm home. Waiting for my brother to end school.

It's hard, waiting here. But it's harder, staying in school.

Because tears are to be kept in home.

This day came. Even though we have prepared ourselves.

That msg came. Even though I thought my mum will say he's better now.

I will be away to KL for the weekend. Don't bother looking for me. Please.

I don't know how to face it. I don't want to face it.

It's a funeral.

My friends. Please don't talk to me about it. I'm not ready. I'm sorry.

But I need to let you guys know. At least if I don't, it's selfish.

I guess I will be fine when I'm back. I will be ready. I will study.

I will study on my way there, I will study there, I will study now.

Please treasure whoever you have now. Love them.

Because no one knows what will happen the next minute.

Smile and you won't cry. (:

Inside I'm shattered.

好..久不见

In love with his voice(<3<3)

There is no genius in the world. Even if you are, you have to work hard.

It's all 1%genius, 99%hardworking.

If you want to score well, you have to work hard for it.

A lesson learnt. I just have to suck it up and move on.

every accomplishment starts with the decision to try

I like this. Success or failure.

You choose yourself.

happy may

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
Confucius


Sws practice today, sat in mr tan cool new blue car, some of the pieces were messed up. Still had so much space to improve.

Welcome my May.
5months to my o.